Skip to main content

American Football

A shit game that wastes 4 hours worth of time, and brain cells galore. Played by fat rednecks who have the brain capacity of an amoeba. Nobody outside a limited number of people from the US actually care about it, and the occasional Canadian. Not worth five cents, but vastly overvalued.
Hey, it's Football!

No, you moron! That's American Football. Real football is what people outside the US play.
by Yak Dribble January 11, 2008
mugGet the American Football mug.

left-handed football bat

Someone or something rather odd or f'd up you might say. A person who ate a few too many retard sandwiches.
by Jebus January 27, 2005
mugGet the left-handed football bat mug.

fucked up like a football bat

Adjective. A phrase used to describe some one who is really screwed up personally and mentally.
John is "fucked up like a football bat."
That's "fucked up like a football bat."
by SamuraiJack January 19, 2008
mugGet the fucked up like a football bat mug.

silent football

A game played mainly by men. People sit in a circle and follow a strict code of rules. There are many rules and defining them here is in essence, against the rules. The game is lost by accumulating the most points. The loser usually must complete a task decided by the other players of the game.
After playing a game of SF mike had to strip and start singing.
by Mike June 21, 2004
mugGet the silent football mug.

Football

*Not to be confused with American Football.
Football, often called 'The Beautiful Game', is invented by the English and is the most popular sport worldwide. The general objective of the game is to score more goals in their goal than the other team. It has two teams, each with eleven players separated into 4 positions:

*Goalkeeper

*Defence

*Midfield

*Attack

It comprises of two goals on either side of the pitch, with each team owning their own half. The goal that they want to shoot in is on the opposite side to their half.
Each team starts on one side of the pitch, which changes in the second half, and consequently so does the goal they want to shoot in.The game lasts for about 90 minutes (not including extra time) split into two 45 minute halfs, separated by a 10-15 minute 'half time' period.
American: Hey, d'ya wanna play some soccer?

English: What, you mean Football?

American: No, it's called soccer.

English: NO, it's called Football! We invented it!

American: IT'S SOCCER!

Rest of World: It's called Football, OK? Now just play!
by eden1023 December 8, 2011
mugGet the Football mug.

american football

A internationally irrelevant sport that is very boring to 99% of the planets population. THe only reason Americans care so much about it is because they invented it and its part of their culture. Kind of like how Japanese people carea about sumo wrestling and no one else does. Another similarity between American football and sumo wrestling is the overweight "athletes". In this sport, a 350lb tub of lard can be considered a "star".
American: The whole world watches the Superbowl!!

Englishman: What a "superbowl"? Some kind of fruit salad?

Brazilian: Huh? Sorry never heard of it..

Italian: Don't know what that is.

INSERT NATIONALITY HERE: WTF is american football? Looks like a pussified version of rugby with padding.
by Bobson Keneth November 23, 2007
mugGet the american football mug.

Mariner High's Football Team

The worst freaking Team in the history of time...........
61 to 0....damn Mariner High's Football Team sucks!
by Mariner High School April 14, 2011
mugGet the Mariner High's Football Team mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email