computer clap

When your computer gets a virus from surfing porno sites and/or watching on-line pornography.

Attributed to Lane Leipold
"Hey Lane, you'd better stop watching that porno on your computer , or it will get the computer clap and you'll go blind!"
"I was checking out Jenna Jameson, and next thing I know my computer has the clap; thecomputer clap! "
by Salty 40 March 18, 2018
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Computer callous

A computer callous is located on the heel of your hand, usually the hand you use to move your mouse.

It is usually caused by the heel of your hand being rubbed against the mouse mat for long periods of time, usually during all nighters on the internet.

A computer callous is most often a little more red than your usual skin tone and is quite soft and smooth.
Hoshit, I've been on the computer so long I've aquired a computer callous.
by Hollydollie August 21, 2009
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computer killer

When u fun all over your laptop or computer due to hardcore masturbating
"I'm a computer killer"
"Whys that John?"
"Because I cummed all over my computer and it short circuited"
by Yolo butter balls January 10, 2016
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computer guru

Someone who is extremely skilled with computers. A step above your run-of-the-mill computer genius.
When the Internet stopped working, Dave installed an Internet proxy server on his phone (which still had Internet), and reconfigured their wireless router to forward TCP/IP packets through his phone so that his family could still watch Netflix on their laptops. He is quite the computer guru!
by guy354 February 13, 2016
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Crowd Computing

A sub-section of Cloud Computing offered by service providers that under-invest in both server infrastructure and technical support staff.

Companies that outsource to them do not realise that they are being crammed in like sardines to the vendors infrastructure which is nowhere near adequate. They only start to realise they are up shit creek when they try to contact technical support for help only to be placed in the longest most painful telephone queue of their life.
Afghan: "None of our 1,000 employees can access their online email application, my CIO's already been fired and I'm next for the chop...I opened a support ticket with the vendor 5 days ago and this is the 26th time I've tried to get through to them on the phone...I am dead meat man, dead meat <sniff>."

Tragic: "Well Afghan, that's Crowd Computing for you."
by Tragic Stan November 17, 2010
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Computer music

Music that is made by a computer completely. Not modified by a computer (which would include most music) but rather an original creation made on a computer. Primarily refers to "electronic" or "rave" music.
by DominiqueFrancon June 27, 2016
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School computers

School computers are not something you really care about that much and even if you drop them it's okay. That is because they never break even if you drop them a thousand times and they are indestructible
by Adude...... November 15, 2021
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