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Hammering the Beets

Male masturbation. Typically, the more vigorous and rough variety. Not just a causal wank.
I walked in on my roommate sitting on the toilet hammering the beets. I wondered what the smacking was.

My uncle paid me $50 to let him watch me hammering the beets.

I’m so sore from hammering the beets. My balls are swollen. I was on pornhub all day.
by Dick Onchin September 23, 2020
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hammer bat

presumably a crude mix between, obviously, a bat and a hammer, which would essentially have the same general function as either a bat or a hammer, with slight aesthetic variation.

also the last thing you want to see in your google feed when looking for help with a missing hammer.bat file.
Dennis: "Dude, check this out. Stay with me here, what if someone made a hammer... bat..."
Quincy: "Shut up, Dennis."
Dennis: "I'm gonna do it."

Google: "What? He actually did it? This deserves two full pages, at least."
4chan: "Shut up, Google."
Google: "Get a search bar."
4chan: "Never."
Steam: "Holy shit. You guys, someone actually made a hammer bat."
Troll: "Whoever is writing this needs to shut up."
Steam: "That is hilarious, who named this hammer.bat? You, James? You get a raise."

Quincy: "..."
Dennis: "Dude, I TOLD you. HAMMERBAT bro. hammer. bat."
Quincy: "Oh my GOD, and you're STILL talking about it."
Dennis: "hammerrrre batito."
Quincy: "Fuck you, dude, the hammer bat is still stupid."
Dennis: "Dude, you are so jealous! You're jealous of the hammer bat!"
Quincy: "No..."
Dennis: "Oh you're not jealous?"
Quincy: "Absolutely not!"
Dennis: "You're not jealous of the three pages in google when you type in hammer bat?"
Quincy: "Oh come on, you don't have to look it up now... Jesus."
Dennis: "Three pages. They call that a hat trick, son. A hammer bat trick... Patrick."
Quincy: "You can't even type, you typed in 'hammer.bat', you fool. You absolute fool!"
Dennis: "Oh my god, it's fine, Quincy, see? It still comes up with the hammer bat. Three pages, boys . Read 'em and weep."
Quincy: "Oh my god, shut UP, Dennis."
by hawkjames October 14, 2013
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Gigaton Hammer

The move Tinkaton uses to destroy everything
Me: Tinkaton vs Starmobile, who will win!?
Tinkaton used Gigaton Hammer!
*One shots Starmobile*
Me: …
by beluga the suzzi cat December 30, 2022
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Hog Hammering

A woman who entertains multiple obese men sexually at the same time. Dicks all around.
Linda was caught hog hammering her fathers friends at the crawfish festival.
by Supra man June 24, 2014
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Warm Hammer

Deliberately and repeatedly hitting your lady in the eye with your member.
Yo dawg, my bitch was giving me shit everyday. Everyday. Until I gave her the warm hammer.
by Warm Hammer PhD. August 15, 2011
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charles the hammer

that pimpin' French guy who kicked muslims out of france.
he delivered an ass- kicking like charles the hammer! damn!

If Thor was human he'd use charles' hammer.
by nexapparatus33 October 20, 2011
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Kev Hammer

Omg did you see Kev Hammer
She: I was like wow

Girl 2: 😍
by Iwantkevhammer August 2, 2018
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