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masturbation rolodex

referring to the memory of any past sexual experiences that are worthy of masturbating to at a future time.

or

discussing how a sexual experience was so exceptional that it will be remembered fondly of and kept in the memory bank.
That girl was incredible. I'm going to have to store that away in my masturbation rolodex.
by LeBron Shames June 28, 2010
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Habitual Masturbation

When you masturbate habitually, you masturbate not because you want to, but because it is that time of the day.
"Hey, where's Andre?"
"It's 2:30. Habitual masturbation must've gotten the best of him."
by gbrodee April 7, 2015
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acoustic masturbation

The act of sexually pleasing oneself without the use of an electric powered device such as a vibrator.
After visiting the adult toy store, Jill resolved to do less acoustic masturbation in the coming year.
by yes juanito yes April 11, 2016
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Rhetorical masturbation

Rhetorical masturbation: Self-aggrandizing speech consisting of lies and deceit usually by politicians.
Hillary Clinton's speech was nothing more than rhetorical masturbation .
by Bobnoxious May 17, 2017
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masturbation

Something a man has no choice to resort to when most of the women he messes with:

a.) are at work
b.) are at school
c.) don't feel like fucking
d.) don't feel like PICKING UP THE GOD DAMNED PHONE!!!!
No examples for masturbation needed! You know damn well what I'm talking about, and if not, TOO GOD DAMNED BAD!
by YungPimp July 18, 2007
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Masturbation

The act of stimulating ones own sex organs. Regarded as "empowering" when done by a woman; regarded as "gross" when done by a man.
Girl #1 "Like, ohmygod, I just bought a new dildo, and masturbated all night long last night!"
Girl #2: "Like, omygod, you are like so empowered, and sexually liberated, and stuff!"
Girl #1: Like, I totally know, right? Masturbation is Amazing!

Girl #1: "Like, ohmygod, I totally caught my boyfriend masturbating the other day!"
Girl #2: Like, ohmygod, what a PIG. That's like, sooo gross.
Girl #1: Like, I totally know, right? Masturbation is Disgusting.
by your fat momma September 14, 2009
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Masturbation Proclamation

When one masturbates while reading the Emancipation Proclamation, preferably while dressed as Abraham Lincoln.
Kyle "Dude you should come over tonight"
Brandon "Sorry bro can't, I'm going to do a Masturbation Proclamation"
by BROmeo69 December 29, 2011
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