by HHHHHHHHHIIIIIII February 6, 2018
Get the caleb jackass baby butt mug.by xxxkillerspreexxx July 19, 2020
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Someone who thinks is fucking raw. They act like they're the hardest thug but they're a bitch. They think they're in a gang with the other jackasses. They do drugs to think they're fly but they can't handle it. They're pussies are so little that they can't drive and someone should take the keys away from them. Anyone can play them with a simple text and make them look like dorks on camera lol. They have no swag because they're modern day asswipes. The best way for them to get a restart with their lives would be to join the military. They don't sell drugs and they're all broke fuckups. The people that sell drugs to them are the ones hustling and laughing at them. There's so many police around them that it's embarrasing. They cry at night and love eating dirt yeah.
Guy 1- "Foo that guy is a straight mark. He/she has all the police on him/her."
Guy 2- "He's/She's a goddamn jackass no bullshit. Bitch is gonna get curbstomped."
Guy 2- "He's/She's a goddamn jackass no bullshit. Bitch is gonna get curbstomped."
by umbreonxxx February 14, 2021
Get the Goddamn Jackass mug.Phrase. Identifying. A individual who always gives "advice" or graces others with there "superior intellect" in a loud annoying way that is common sense(or should be) or has already been stated but now they will say it again in a different tone as if it was never heard or said (short term memory recall), this advice or information is usually given after something has been decided/discussed making the individual feel as though they solved everything and/or nothing would have been decided/done/gained hadnt they "spoken up" these individuals must always have the last word even days later and just a sound; Captain Jackass is not a nick name, this phrase is only use in the type of situation/moment it refers. Traditionally once the individual starts "the thing of it is" speech they are allowed to finish, making this phrase more appropriate as "stupid" doesnt know when to stop once they are pleased with themselves (or youve had enough)give them eye contact and firmly state "THANK YOU CAPTAIN JACKASS!!" Adding a "WELL" in front of the phrase to interrupt is optional; Hopefully there is room for reinforcing/retraining the simple minded brain that the knowledge they DO have is basic at best n adults are talking now, If not you have just learn a wonderful new phrase thats perfect when used properly every time!
1: Did you know if you stand in the road you could get hit by a car?.....Yah i know
2: WELL THANK YOU CAPTAIN JACKASS!! You are a true asset to mankind......scholar to your peers n such ...
1: What ... Captain peers, like captain Malibu honey ...dbdjf....ddfd.. yah i drink that..
2: You want me to hit you with the newspaper again .... ima get it ...
1: Iam going to the bank in the moring because they are closed after 12pm and I n....
*LOUD INTERRUPTING STUPIDITY*
2: You should go to the bank 1st in the morning remeber they close at 12pm and yo....THE THING OF IT IS my sisters brothers half dogs cusin pet trees gmas worked at the bank makr short story long now they owe me money so they say if you give me your money then ill givejz fieobdbdjrvjfndbwhdjdktnfj dd fkd and ..
3: *WITH THE ASSIST* THANK YOU CAPTAIN JACKASS! WE GOT IT !!
1: Thanks bruh I couldnt take it all that gibberish....its like she making words with ABC magnets ...but THEY JUST BANANA STICKERS! .... i owe you
3: Yep ..you sure do sir ..sure do....Ill add it to your BroTab
2: *Talking to self* Oh uh PEE...Thats what i had ment to say i gottda dpeiplldbdbh....
2: WELL THANK YOU CAPTAIN JACKASS!! You are a true asset to mankind......scholar to your peers n such ...
1: What ... Captain peers, like captain Malibu honey ...dbdjf....ddfd.. yah i drink that..
2: You want me to hit you with the newspaper again .... ima get it ...
1: Iam going to the bank in the moring because they are closed after 12pm and I n....
*LOUD INTERRUPTING STUPIDITY*
2: You should go to the bank 1st in the morning remeber they close at 12pm and yo....THE THING OF IT IS my sisters brothers half dogs cusin pet trees gmas worked at the bank makr short story long now they owe me money so they say if you give me your money then ill givejz fieobdbdjrvjfndbwhdjdktnfj dd fkd and ..
3: *WITH THE ASSIST* THANK YOU CAPTAIN JACKASS! WE GOT IT !!
1: Thanks bruh I couldnt take it all that gibberish....its like she making words with ABC magnets ...but THEY JUST BANANA STICKERS! .... i owe you
3: Yep ..you sure do sir ..sure do....Ill add it to your BroTab
2: *Talking to self* Oh uh PEE...Thats what i had ment to say i gottda dpeiplldbdbh....
by ScreenDoor-Junkie July 6, 2022
Get the Captain Jackass mug.when you know just enough about a topic or subject to mention it but don't know enough to elaborate on it.
I started telling my friend about how the James Webb telescope was finding galaxies so far away that they shouldn't exist but then realized I was being an American Jackass as I tried to explain the findings further.
by Traveling_Ace October 13, 2023
Get the american jackass mug.by Zalo_r October 13, 2025
Get the Lazy Jackass mug.Left Lane Jackass (LLJ): A person driving in the left lane on a highway either at the speed limit or usually slightly below the limit AND the following conditions are present: 1) Another car or cars is behind them wanting to go faster; 2) The person driving is completely unaware of his or her surroundings.
The following conditions are not necessary for the definition, but are frequently observed: There is a blinker flashing and the driver is completely unaware of it and has no intention of changing lanes, and 2) The driver may be talking on a cell phone, putting on make-up, or daydreaming.
Supporting evidence includes: The drivers behind the LLJ appear pissed off, and 2) drivers behind the LLJ are usually tail-gaiting and flashing their lights, however, this usually has no effect, due to condition #2 of the definition.
The following conditions are not necessary for the definition, but are frequently observed: There is a blinker flashing and the driver is completely unaware of it and has no intention of changing lanes, and 2) The driver may be talking on a cell phone, putting on make-up, or daydreaming.
Supporting evidence includes: The drivers behind the LLJ appear pissed off, and 2) drivers behind the LLJ are usually tail-gaiting and flashing their lights, however, this usually has no effect, due to condition #2 of the definition.
Passenger: "Hey, is there a traffic jam ahead?"
Driver: No, it's another left lane jackass.
Passenger: Just get a little closer to him, I'm sure he'll move over when he notices us.
Driver: He's frigging clueless, and doesn't even know that I'm 12 inches from his bumper. I think he's talking on his cell phone.
Driver: No, it's another left lane jackass.
Passenger: Just get a little closer to him, I'm sure he'll move over when he notices us.
Driver: He's frigging clueless, and doesn't even know that I'm 12 inches from his bumper. I think he's talking on his cell phone.
by MeDavebo September 29, 2014
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