Shaving the Beard

When a heterosexual woman divorces her gay husband.

After 30 years of unknowingly acting as Bruce's beard, Cindy finally divorced him after he got caught red-handed at the gay bar.

Bruce: I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I was gay when we got married. Will you stay married to me and pretend that we have sex?

Cindy: I think it's time you came out of the closet - I'm shaving the beard!

by Steve Fraser September 21, 2011

Schrodinger’s beard

When someone has a sizable amount of facial hair, but it still cannot be considered a beard. Usually common in high school boys and reddit moderators.

Person 1: I cant tell if that guy has a beard or not
Person 2: Yeah. He’s got a Schrodinger’s beard

by TotallyDinosaur October 3, 2023

Goat beard

Noun

A woman who has straight pubic hair, thereby resembling a goat's beard.

Synonyms: pubes, pubic hair.

#pubes #mons pubis #vulva #yoni

"My hair down there is so straight, it looks like a goat beard.

by Aurora Blew March 11, 2017

beard Squad

A sqaudron of elite of men who possess the means to grow abnormal beards of great lengths. Most men are flabbergaseted by the length and girth to these mens beards. They also possess the means to party for massive amounts of time, and can usually be heard throughout yelling "Beard Squad"

We just drank that whole bucket of juice, BEARD SQUAD!

Hey man I just got a case of beer, BEARD SQUAD!
I just found my wallet, BEARD SQUAD!
Lets go to the beer store, BEARD SQUAD!

by thebah87 February 24, 2011

COVID Beard

An unkept, greasy set of facial hair brought on by isolation during the self quarantine phase of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Did you guys see Garrett yesterday on that zoom chat? His COVID beard was repulsive.

by DRJAY April 23, 2020

Bearded Lizard

When giving a blowjob and having your tongue at the back of your throat, this then allows you to spit the contents with excessive force like a lizard or dragon.

Damn Madeleine can really do the Bearded Lizard, it went for metres

by Jollyjolliver September 11, 2016

beard maturation

When a man's beard starts to spread to new and different territory over the course of his life.

beard maturation

son: pa, I didn't shave for three days, and now my stubble's gone further up my cheeks.

pa: son, I'm darn proud of ya. You are becoming a man!

pa: now git the Norelco!

by someonefromearth January 1, 2010