Schrodinger’s beard

When someone has a sizable amount of facial hair, but it still cannot be considered a beard. Usually common in high school boys and reddit moderators.

Person 1: I cant tell if that guy has a beard or not
Person 2: Yeah. He’s got a Schrodinger’s beard

by TotallyDinosaur October 3, 2023

Johnson Beard

Pubic hair that has grown longer than one's right thumb.

Dude, my Johnson beard looks like the Amazon jungle during the summer

by Mr. handfart January 10, 2011

Fecal Beard

When someone doesn't wash their hands after pooping and then puts their hands on your face.

Sally, please don't rub the stubble on my face if you haven't washed your hands after going #2, because you've now given me a fecal beard and I have to disinfect my face.

by jennacola March 8, 2013

Bearded Wazzy

The act of tearing out someone's pubic hair at the exact moment of climax, soaking it in said climax, and then placing it on their face - the fluids acting as an adhesive.

Man, I had sex with this chick who had a bush from the effing nineties... sooo I gave her a Bearded Wazzy.

by GKBDB January 12, 2010

Ear Beard

When the hair in a man's (or woman's) ear becomes so coarse and bountiful, that it resembles a normal facial beard. It needs constant grooming and trimming.

Praful's ear beard has gotten so out of control that you can no longer see his ear, only the hair that covers it. Praful shaves it monthly, but his ear beard 5 o'clock shadow is apparent by the next day.

by Taterbutthole October 26, 2010

Shaving the Beard

When a heterosexual woman divorces her gay husband.

After 30 years of unknowingly acting as Bruce's beard, Cindy finally divorced him after he got caught red-handed at the gay bar.

Bruce: I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I was gay when we got married. Will you stay married to me and pretend that we have sex?

Cindy: I think it's time you came out of the closet - I'm shaving the beard!

by Steve Fraser September 21, 2011

beard horizon

The point in beard growth when the length is beyond stubble or stylishly short fuzz, and a decision must be made to trim, shave, or let it grow.

A secondary characteristic of many beard horizons is, as the length becomes more noticeable, it can become more distracting or annoying...such as with moustache hair that curls over the upper lip, or chin hair that is frequently messed with.

This douchey chinstrap is gettin' kind of burly...think I've hit beard horizon.

Hey, Justin...your carefully cultuvated "fashionably unkempt" party stubble is turning into a full-blown hipster face-wig. I think you blew past beard horizon some time during a weekend PBR bender.

by lordjupiter December 9, 2012