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rectal plumber

A trades man of the highest order in relation to realigning the internal pipework and plumbing of the rectal cavities of others by vigorous use of his lady tickler. Whether they be a male who is turdburgling another male, a man who is kicking in the back door of his lady friend. Or a lady who has strapped on a prostrate pulveriser to even the score with the man in her life. Rectal plumbing is never soft and gentle and is always executed with vim and vigour. Often accompanied by name calling and hair pulling. Energetic thrusting and circular movements of the phallic instrument within the fartbarn of the other person is a must. Often leading to next day fart barnacles and the inability to pass solid stools.
Dude what's wrong with your mum, she's walking funny, moaning and holding her stomach?
Oh, my dad has a Nobel Prize in rectal plumbing and I think whilst he was in there he adjusted her lower intestines. She always said "Don't give me a rich man, give me a rectal plumber who'll leave me feeling like I've been kicked in the baby maker"

See Jolene over there, I rectally plumbed her last night. Man I got up in that fartbarn like the Nazis storming into Poland. Got me an Iron Cross off the Furher for services as a rectal plumber.

So Sebastian how was your date with Peter?
It was like somebody superglued an octopus to end of a hammer drill, shoved it up my fartbarn and turned it up to max. That boy has crazy rectal plumbing skills. He's the rectal plumber I've been waiting for since Uncle Frank introduced me to cock all those years ago. Anal Arse fucking Anal devastation Reamed
by Fitz2815 February 23, 2017
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rectal freeze

When someone is being a frigid asshole.
Hey Joey, you're being a real rectal freeze...
by Gloomklown June 28, 2016
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rectal broom

When one cleans ones ass hole with their dick
Yea, Tom gave me a rectal broom last night. It was amazing!
by cdubz284750 April 18, 2016
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rectal mouthwash

(rectal mouthwash) is when someones passed out at a party pulls down there pants and (poops) in the past out persons mouth while its open, and they swish it around while snoring. Thats (rectal mouthwash)
My drunk friend passed out with his shoes on and broke the house rules so i Plopped a big turd In his mouth and he enjoyed his snoring (rectal mouthwash)
by parachute bandit August 24, 2016
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rectal raygun

a shit so hard it awakes giants from there thousand year slumber, And is also on some Navy ships
"im not feeling well" i said right before my rectal raygun went of into my doctors ass. like a ass transplant from one asshole into the other
by Mr.somespaghetti December 10, 2019
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Rectal devastation

Kirsty performed rectal devastation on her ass the other day with a 15 inch dildo
by iisaltyi January 31, 2020
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Spectral Rectal

When one is participating or is forced into anal sex with a ghost or demon. This is seen in Paranormal Entity and 8213: Gacy House.
"Don't watch 8213: Gacy House man!"
"Why?"
"Spectral Rectal, 'nuff said."
"With a chick?!"
"A fugly-ass guy!"
"Oh, shit..."
by Bass Drop Donnie July 3, 2012
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