A Vampire who's never had sex in all of his life (which is like over a 100 years). When he does have sex, it's with an anorexic emo whore who's got a Beastiality Fetish with dogs. He knocked her up and know has to change her into a super-fag who can rip his balls off. Yeah, your balls are so in her purse, bro.
He likes his girls 75 pounds and an A Cup Sized boobs, if you can even call those boobs. So, in other words, Edward is a pedophile who decided to bring Elvis's hair back into style.
Her has piss-colored eyes and albino colored skin. His nipples are like a forest that never gets rained on. Unless you call Jasper's jizz rain, then he get's lots of rain.
Stephanie Meyer ruined the name Edward and ruined the whole Vampire idea with her "Humans are Friends, Not Food" crap. Way to go, Steph. You just turned one of the most feared creatures into the next CareBears.
He likes his girls 75 pounds and an A Cup Sized boobs, if you can even call those boobs. So, in other words, Edward is a pedophile who decided to bring Elvis's hair back into style.
Her has piss-colored eyes and albino colored skin. His nipples are like a forest that never gets rained on. Unless you call Jasper's jizz rain, then he get's lots of rain.
Stephanie Meyer ruined the name Edward and ruined the whole Vampire idea with her "Humans are Friends, Not Food" crap. Way to go, Steph. You just turned one of the most feared creatures into the next CareBears.
Edward Cullen: Say it, Say it out loud.
Bella: You're a...Homosexual.
Edward Cullen: No! How did you find ouuut?! *fans himself with his perfectly manicured hand*
Bella: Oh, Edward, it's okay. We can get married and no has to know!
Edward: But...But...
Bella: But what?
Edward: I...*Prances into an open meadow and dances around in the flowers under the sun. He sparkles crazily* I SPARKLE, BELLA. Tee-Hee!
Bella: You're a...Homosexual.
Edward Cullen: No! How did you find ouuut?! *fans himself with his perfectly manicured hand*
Bella: Oh, Edward, it's okay. We can get married and no has to know!
Edward: But...But...
Bella: But what?
Edward: I...*Prances into an open meadow and dances around in the flowers under the sun. He sparkles crazily* I SPARKLE, BELLA. Tee-Hee!
by l3itchesGetStitches June 14, 2011
Get the Edward Cullen mug.Hot, sparkling vampire is in love with Bella Swan. Every girl either wants him or hates him because they cannot have him.
by edwardobsesssed November 17, 2009
Get the Edward Cullen mug.by dudiscool39393 May 27, 2018
Get the Cullen mug.by colleen jeff May 17, 2019
Get the cullen broyles mug.Someone who cannot be trusted. A lowlife, cheater, betrayer and user. Usually loves himself and believes that everyone else loves him too, but is usually not the case. Walks and talks like C3PO and is usually both kind of stupid and clumsy.
by thejamescullenhunter September 21, 2013
Get the James Cullen mug."Wake up, James!"
"What? Where am I? Stop walking around Cullman!"
or
"Are you ok, Jason?"
"Sugar! Stop walking around Cullman!"
"What? Where am I? Stop walking around Cullman!"
or
"Are you ok, Jason?"
"Sugar! Stop walking around Cullman!"
by HappyHenry35 April 18, 2003
Get the stop walking around cullman mug.The Olympic Coven's ( also known as the Cullen Coven) " adopted father/sire" he got all the cullens to become animal drinking vampire "vegetarians " He also seems to think that because he and the rest of his family drink animal blood they are automatically better than all human blood drinkers and is Christ reborn.
Friend: What the heck, Carlisle Cullen makes no sense, it's called a blood bag idiot.
Me:I know right like what the heck Carlisle quit acting like you are so much better than everyone just because you don't understand the meaning of real food and rabies,I mean they're animals for god sake.
Me:I know right like what the heck Carlisle quit acting like you are so much better than everyone just because you don't understand the meaning of real food and rabies,I mean they're animals for god sake.
by HelloTwithches September 16, 2016
Get the Carlisle Cullen mug.