Absolute ballshit

An act of unfairness and unpredictability

That’s absolute ballshit! FGR should have won again. Instead FGR decided to hit the woodwork, miss 1 on 1’s and lose

by BURYAREBASTARDS January 20, 2019

Absolute faggotry

When someone is being so gay they become straight then gay again

Anyone who uses a shotgun I call of duty shows absolute faggotry

by Everduse July 18, 2025

Absolut Value

The value of one's weight in absolut vodka. Multiply weight in lbs by 14.08 (Absolut vodka is roughly 88 cents per ounce).

"See that girl over there, the really skinny one?"
"Oh shit! She is so fucking skinny."
"I bet her absolut value is only 1300"
"I'd say 1200."
"Shiiet."

absolute value absolute vodka absolut vodka

by bennydre April 30, 2013

absolute koon

A crazy black man

Tyrone: YAH BRO, JUST HIT THE JAX OFF A GIRLS THIGH!
Zach: You're an absolute koon!

by zacthemac October 31, 2019

absolute fuckin unit

a chubby, spotty girl with a massive nose and forehead

she is an absolute fuckin unit

by absolutefuckinunit March 9, 2019

Absolutely Not

She 100% likes the man bun

Me: “ do you like the man bun”
Her: “absolutely not”

by Idevenknowyet September 12, 2020

ABSOLUTE PSYCHO

Okay, if I... if I chop you up in a meat grinder, and the only thing that comes out, that's left of you, is your eyeball, you'r- you're PROBABLY DEAD! You're probably going to - not *you,* I'm just sayin', like, if you- if somebody were to, like, push you into a meat grinder, and, like, your- one of your *finger bones* is still intact, they're not gonna pick it up and go, "Well see, yeah it wasn't deadly, it wasn't an instant kill move! You still got, like, this part of your finger left!" NO I'M NOT GONNA PUT YOU INTO A MEAT GRINDER. I'M NOT GONNA PUT YOU INTO A MEAT GRINDER. NO. I'm making a *reference* to the fact that, like, if I, like, if I were to get fucking KILLED... I don't know, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'. If- if- okay, if you were to- okay we're gonna take humans out of this, if alien Globgobglobgo 1 fuckin' shoots a disintegrating ray at alien Globglo 2, if there's only fucking *TEETH LEFT,* it's- it's fucking *you're dead, you're dead*.

"If I were to put you in a meat grinder," goddamnit, it's so fucked up! You understand what I'm sayin' though, I'm not actually saying that I'm going to put somebody in a *meat grinder,* goddamnit. Whatever.

That ABSOLUTE FUCKING PSYCHO THREATENED TO PUT ME IN A MEAT GRINDER. ABSOLUTE PSYCHO MEANS JERMA985.

by TwitchChatReal1984 August 10, 2022