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Mattressexual

Meh·tris·cex·ual~

⠀⠀⠀⠀~adjective~

⠀⠀⠀⠀To be sexually or romantically attracted to the inanimate object commonly referred to as Mattresses ("beds", "bunks", "sacks", etc.) regardless of the item's manufacturer or country of origin.
"Man I gotta hit they hay, ya'know what I mean?"
"For sure! I'm Mattressexual, so I hit it all the time!"

"My friend came out to me last weekend. I knew he was being real with me when he no longer wished to go the fuck to bed, but that he had wished to go to fuck the bed. I accept him greatly for this bravery in coming out as a Mattressexual."
by PsychAnon January 18, 2023
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new mattress effect

When that new mattress feels like a cloud and you want to sleep all the time.

Origin: In Malcolm in the Middle (Season 7, 146-17), Malcolm and Dewey find a new mattress. Malcolm proceeds to sleep infinitely on the mattress, thus, Malcolm experiences the new mattress effect.
Bob: When I got my new mattress I put myself on mandatory bed rest to enjoy the supremacy over my old one.

Joe: That's the new mattress effect, I've had it too.

Tim: I've slept for three days on my new mattress, I can't tell if it's draining my soul or helping it.

Bob: I'm going through the same thing, it's the new mattress effect.
by Allen75 June 16, 2010
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Related Words

Band Mattress

A person in a band who has slept with a majority of the other members in said band.
Wow, Holly's had sex with everybody in her band.

Well, they don't call her the band mattress for nothin.
by OsamaBinRocken December 22, 2010
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Ma-Mutt

Mumm-ra's dog from Thundercats. Whether you believe he exists or not.

Often fought Snarf...but unfortunately never killed him.
I can't believe Kirby doesn't believe Ma-Mutt exists... there's an internet!
by Bolt Vanderhuge November 28, 2010
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Rug Mutt

(noun) term for a masculine lesbian; dike
Check out the rug mutt in the sleeveless plaid shirt.
by nikkanicki December 23, 2011
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Missouri Mattress

The act of lending your mattress to a friend once you have refused to let them sleep in your room.
Boy: Hey I need to borrow your room tonight...
Girl: No way! #blessed
Boy: Don't CB, she could be the one. What about Missouri compromise?
Girl: I guess we can do Missouri mattress. Thank you!
by Missouri Mattress March 1, 2015
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Squat Mattress

A man or woman who has no standard and has had sexual intercourse with most of the squatters in their community
Jillwyn is such a squat mattress, I heard she slept with all the guys at every squat just to have a man to keep her safe, so just like a actual squat mattress everyone got their turn, u don't want her scabies
by tampon420 May 17, 2016
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