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Poo poo pee pee dinkle toilet mustard head 

The ultimate comeback for when others "no u" or "ur mom" you. It has immunity to being no u'd or your mom'd, as well as other comebacks. Cannot be used with or against the comeback "toot toot you Thomas the Train blue 1000 ping morsel of a scuttlebug".
Person 1: You're stupid
Person 2: No you

Person 1: Poo poo pee pee dinkle toilet mustard head

Cut the mustard. 

Does not pass standard. Is not good enough. Is lacking.

The passage about the mustardeer or cutting layers of hardened mustard is bullshit some troll made up.

The first recorded use of the phrase cut the mustard was by O. Henry in 1907, in a story called The Heart of the West: "I looked around and found a proposition that exactly cut the mustard". The modern sense of the idiom is 'to succeed; to have the ability to do something; to come up to expectations', but the phrase is most often used in the negative form, as "can't cut the mustard," meaning 'not able to handle the job'. The cut probably refers to harvesting the plant, so if one cannot cut the mustard, one cannot supply what is best. A phrase preceding cut the mustard is to be the mustard (c. 1903) meaning 'to be special' or 'to be exactly what is needed' with mustard being a slang term for importance. There is also another phrase keen as mustard meaning 'very enthusiastic'.
The story about the Mustardeer does not cut the mustard.

Squak mustard 

Vial, colorfull, odiferious discharge released from the vagina. Infection is certainly to blame.
You should have seen the squak mustard smeared over those Pastrami flaps on that chick I took home last night.
Squak mustard by EH of HB September 12, 2007

dog mustard 

the state pertaining to silly putty after it has become a uniform shade of grey
man, this silly putty used to be glow-in-the-dark-green, but now it's total dog mustard. im gonna go drown my sorrows in strawberry soda and cheap cocaine.
dog mustard by DOG MUSTARD August 26, 2003

armpit mustard 

A mustard that is under the arm in the pit.

Armpit mustard became popular when Ethan Dolan spoke on twitter about having this condition.
Grayson: Yo bro!
Ethan: Yeah bro?
Grayson: What’s that pastey stuff under your arm man?
Ethan: Oh that? That’s just my armpit mustard man
Grayson: Cool dude!
Ethan: Yeah man
armpit mustard by anon1027 February 21, 2018

Panty Mustard 

a vaginal fluid that leaks uncontrollably to the panties creating a thick mustard like film.
Panty

Hey Rick I was making out with Linda, I bet I stirred up a great amount of panty mustard.
Panty Mustard by Harold00 January 5, 2018