Side loaf

The male version of a muffin top.

My girlfriend loved looking at my side loaf, that's why she married me.

by Turdmuffins November 26, 2017

Quicken Loans Cattle Handle

When you pay a discount rate for a dry handjob while on a business trip to a rural area. The Quicken Loans Cattle Handle usually occurs in the backseat of a crew cab Chevy 2x4, while the handjobist's father is trying to buy dip in the Love's Gas Station. If timed improperly the Quicken Loans Cattle Handle can have disastrous results, including STI's, Blueballs or a Napoleon Complex.

Man I had to go to Oklahoma on a work trip, The wife made me promise not to do any cheating so all I did was get a couple Quicken Loans Cattle Handles to clear my head.

I got a Quicken Loans Cattle Handle yesterday, but her dad got out of the shell before I could finish.

by Kort's favorite Buttboy April 23, 2018

Pure Loaf Plug

Also referred to as (PLP)
A bowel movement so vast that it clogs a toilet without the aid of toilet paper. Considered a prestigious achievement by those in fecal-centric communities. For a PLP to be confirmed the toilet must be flushed before you sit to ensure the line is clear, and has to be performed in a standard flow toilet (not a low flow water saving toilet) and most importantly no toilet paper can be in the bowl.

Tim has 7 confirmed Pure Loaf Plugs in his career. He nearly had 8 but he forget the Pre-flush because it was an emergency.

by Ders the defiler October 22, 2019

Bedside Loaf

A general term for pooping on or beside one’s bed.

I woke up late last night in sleep paralysis, but I also had to take a dump. I’m sorry about the bedside loaf.

by Ricky McMorty February 23, 2020

Power Loaf

Is when you sit on the toilet and take a huge shit and the turd is harder than a cinderblock or a brick and it gets stuck like a blockage and it feels like your asshole is going to tear apart but then it comes out and creates a massive splash in the toilet bowl.

After 3 days Mike started the protein shake diet he went to the bathroom to pinch off a power loaf.

by JustinCredible H August 5, 2020

Sandwich-loafing

Sandwich-loafing: when two bodies engaged in an amorous act are slapped together with something in between them, such as an item of clothing or a sheet.

"The nervous newlyweds were so eager to consummate that they were sandwich-loafing all night in the honeymoon suite."

by Sylvie T January 8, 2021

i loaf you

I like you as a friend

Me: I loaf you besfren<3
You: i loaf you too bestieee <3

by bakugos_angerissues January 9, 2021