Pre-Bearding

To prepare the face/existing facial hair for future beardage

"Dude, are you doing no-shave November?" "Yeah man, but I've got to do some pre-bearding on this goatee first."

"Are you trying to grow a beard?" "Why yes I am, but first I have to pre-beard this part because it takes forever to get long."

by thebeardmeister September 23, 2011

U-Beard

Lower half of a goatee in the shape of a U due to lack of proper beard growing skills.

Ben Roethlisberger has been spotted sporting a U-Beard

by Don Lars December 12, 2009

beard second

The unit of distance. The length the average beard grows in one second.

That race was like 4 billion beard seconds!

by Thinkingray May 16, 2014

Vaginal Beard

when female reproductive organs contain so much hair that if you cut it all off you could glue it to a viking's face and it would pass as a normal beard.

That sally girl got her vaginal beard all in my teeth!

by Johnny Cock-knocker June 17, 2012

Shaving the Beard

When a heterosexual woman divorces her gay husband.

After 30 years of unknowingly acting as Bruce's beard, Cindy finally divorced him after he got caught red-handed at the gay bar.

Bruce: I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I was gay when we got married. Will you stay married to me and pretend that we have sex?

Cindy: I think it's time you came out of the closet - I'm shaving the beard!

by Steve Fraser September 21, 2011

beard horizon

The point in beard growth when the length is beyond stubble or stylishly short fuzz, and a decision must be made to trim, shave, or let it grow.

A secondary characteristic of many beard horizons is, as the length becomes more noticeable, it can become more distracting or annoying...such as with moustache hair that curls over the upper lip, or chin hair that is frequently messed with.

This douchey chinstrap is gettin' kind of burly...think I've hit beard horizon.

Hey, Justin...your carefully cultuvated "fashionably unkempt" party stubble is turning into a full-blown hipster face-wig. I think you blew past beard horizon some time during a weekend PBR bender.

by lordjupiter December 9, 2012

Bearded Pepper

The result of copulation between a man and a cursed corpse. The man's penis takes on the appearance of a hairy jalapeno.

Origin: The condition was first mentioned on the podcast "Learning to Curse with Adam & Chuck", where it is used as a recurring joke.

Person 1 Hey, bro... how do you cure a bearded pepper?

Person 2 There is no cure... that's what you get for being a necrophiliac.

by Learningtocurse August 28, 2018