A man that does not wear a shirt. When ordering
food from a local restaurant they
will order a meal that is capable of feeding no less than 50 people, paid in full by another person who
will never taste this epic meal. The meal
will only be eaten in locations deemed manly enough for consumption. Areas may include municipal gazebos or the top or oil tanks.
If ever faced with a possible encounter with law enforcement a real man
will immediately seek out the nearest barbed wire fence and position themselves on the top in an owl position facing the barbed wire. Once law enforcement is within eye contact distance the real man
will drop their shirtless body from the fence making no effort to avoid or protect themselves from the adjoining barbed wire.
If ever questioned about the resulting and extensive damage to their shirtless body the real man
will default to blaming a friend or co-workers cat, falsely calming it is a savage.
A real man always communicates via epic quotes.
1.) A Real Man: “Real Men
Don’t wear shits anyway!”
Audience: *Silence* as everyone takes off their shirts
2.) A Real Man: “I’m not getting caught by no
fucking cops for eating
Mary Browns on top of the oil tanks with no shirt
on!”
Audience: *forever traumatized by barbed wire fences*
