Oban wankers are people who have difficulty spelling, piss you off easily and hang about in large groups. Even when they try to be nice they still fail as they go about it in a ridiculous way. They may wear chinos on occasion even though they claim chinos are wankers. Some even reach the extent of not knowing how to spoon. You do not have to be from Oban to be an Oban Wanker.
by alemk October 29, 2011
Get the Oban Wanker mug.A part-time vegan but a full time wanker.
You want to be a meditating, creative, yogi with the strength and flexibility of Ghandi and BOY do you tell people about it. But you are constantly failing.
You definitely do yoga, and let everyone know about it through all available social media and by literally hollering it down the street while riding your fixie bike.
You film yourself doing yoga, the morning after a heavy binge session where you danced on the bar and went home with your friends little brother.
It's all in the juxtaposition of aiming high... and falling so low.
You want to be a meditating, creative, yogi with the strength and flexibility of Ghandi and BOY do you tell people about it. But you are constantly failing.
You definitely do yoga, and let everyone know about it through all available social media and by literally hollering it down the street while riding your fixie bike.
You film yourself doing yoga, the morning after a heavy binge session where you danced on the bar and went home with your friends little brother.
It's all in the juxtaposition of aiming high... and falling so low.
This morning I saw Fiona and she was telling me about this organic, sustainable farm she's working on this summer to learn about health conscious and mindful, vegan food production. Then I spotted her later from afar and she was inhaling a full family size packet of crisps. She's such a Vegan Wanker
by Vegan Wanker November 7, 2015
Get the Vegan Wanker mug.The act of wanking to the beat of rap god and snorting cocaine off your step-Gammy’s sweaty ass crack
by DirtyGoblinReceiver69 December 14, 2019
Get the Sweaty Wanker mug.Someone who attends a live music event and insists on filming the performance on their phone instead of enjoying the atmosphere. Exactly what these dipshits do with the footage after the event is unclear but it's likely it just sits on their phone, acting as a reminder of the performance they attended in person but largely watched via a 5 inch screen. The Phone Wanker is further characterised by the person filming the event with their phone in a vertical/portrait orientation, thus rendering the footage unusable for any purpose other than viewing it on their phone. Sadly all attempts to capture the event for prosperity (or perhaps bragging rights) are rendered useless anyway since the diminutive microphone on the phone is inadequate when faced with the venues high powered speaker stack.
I went to see Rag n Bone man in concert last week. Amazing gig but I was surrounded by Phone Wankers who insisted on filming it!
by JayWon April 21, 2017
Get the Phone Wanker mug.wankers burn is not unlike a chinese burn, it happens when your straight up and down action developes a slight sidewards twist , thus causing surface errosion of the penis , can be treated by using a splint made out of ice lolly sticks and cotton wool dipped in linseed oil and tar , leave on for a couple of weeks and bobs your uncle good as new and ready for the next round, wankers burn support groups are available ,
by jizzcannon1 February 21, 2011
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