Bed-Reading

The action of placing a book in your right hand, running full speed at your bed, jumping precisely five feet away from the mattress, completing a one hundred and eighty degree spin while simultaneously crossing the book between your legs. You then land on your back with the book open and proceed to read your story of choice.

Bed-Reading is an extreme sport, only for the elite.

by dirkdiggler12 December 4, 2016

stabbing the bed

When a guy sleeps on his stomach and has a boner, causing said boner to stick into the mattress.

I woke up this morning with my penis hurting, I must have been stabbing the bed all night!

by Jim Throttle September 30, 2017

Bed scrapers

Breasts so large that they scrape the bed when engaging in intercourse in the doggy style position.

Hey Brad, have you seen the new receptionist? She's got some real bed scrapers

by Nicker_doodle September 23, 2016

Bed Napkin

The top sheet of the bed. Can be used to wipe bodily fluids off of face after dining.

Honey, where’s the bed napkin so I can wipe the saliva/semen/pussyjuice/santorum off my chin. I’m a big mess! The last time I saw it, it was twisted around my ankles.

by Sad giraffe May 25, 2019

Bed salt

Small crumbs or random shit on the bed the size of salt, that annoys you while you try to sleep and end up brushing off

Fuck I can't sleep with all this bed salt on the bed, I have to brush it off

by Windowsweirdo October 14, 2020

Bed Fizz

When one is comfortable in bed with all necessities and luxuries at arms reach, a full body fizzing orgasm is sent throughout the body followed by butterflies and a large grin.

Husband: Can you get the remote and my Zoo mag?
Wife: Yep there you go.
Husband: mhmmhmhmmh (Bed Fizz)

by s s l November 1, 2011

Cheese in bed

Just cheese in bed really? Little Laurenz songs and that. Based off Send my love to your new lover. Who has cheese in bed.
Made in 2015/2016 by accident.

Only real intellectuals know

LL: You know that song?

AA: I know....
BOTH: CHEESE IN BEDDD

by The Wandering Arab February 12, 2022