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Cranial-Rectal Impaction (Syndrome)

A condition wherein the patient's rectum is blocked (impacted) by their own cranial matter, resulting in the following symptoms: inability to think critically, difficulty processing rational arguments, loss of desire to collaborate. Oddly it does not impact the ability to pass flatus.

Those suffering from this condition also often suffer from procto-milontas.
Nurse - the patient is clearly suffering from a cranial-rectal impaction (syndrome). Please provide 30 mg of Thorazine and be prepared to perform an attitute adjustment.
by Patrol Jeff May 11, 2023
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rectal rose

When a man de-thorns a rose and inserts it into his rectum. He then presents the rose to his partner by bending over and squeezing it out of his rectum. Bonus points if a little poo comes out that you can plant it in.
Person 1: “Oh my god, Timmy gave me a rectal rose last night

Person 2: “Eew what the fuck?”
by petergenethepumpkinqueen October 2, 2025
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Colton’s rectal rodeo

The sexual act of slipping one finger in the ass and with every stoke inserting an extra finger, once the whole arm is inserted go for two…. Proceed to root around like a bear with rabies in a honey pot eventually make your way all the way into the carcass and stay for a while make sure your comfy! do not give her up to the authority’s till cold. (Recommend only for big girls)
Dude you will not believe what I did last night! I pulled off the Colton’s rectal rodeo like we practiced at the beach!! She was skinny as a twig though… I ended up digging through to the hardwood and got a splinter… that was a pisser, thanks the the three guys who showed me the ropes!!
by Big.dicks.shed.n.breakfast October 2, 2021
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optical rectal refractions

it is where your eyeballs drop down to your asshole and you get a shitty outlook on life.
someone who is negative, optical rectal refractions.
by rockin randall 1973 September 30, 2009
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rectal spread

1. A picture or depiction of someone with their anal meat exposed in any number of degrees of not-rightedness

2. butter churned in the undergarments during high activity thus producing a product with added qualities

3. a exceptionally smooth bowel movement, like butter
I was on the internet keytar forums and I get a pop-up with gay dudes!! Lame!! I mean it was full-on rectal spread!!
by Cootie Brown December 14, 2008
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rectal rapunzel

When your ass hair is so long it can be used as a super power.
When thirsty creeps try to slide in my girls DMs, I send em a pic of my ass. Rectal rapunzel keeps her safe.
by Doozerdude June 30, 2021
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Rectal Rice

When maggots are crawling around in the rectum, typically on rotting corpses
I once saw a homeless guy with rectal rice. Nastiest shit I've ever seen
by JustASpy November 28, 2023
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