A wank that takes your mind off a disaster that has just occured, allowing you to have a clear mind to think of a solution.
1) I rolled my car last night. Hit two pedestrians and a dog.
2) Bloody hell, what did you do?!
1) I had a quick Disaster Wank then set about destroying the evidence before running off into the woods.
2) Bloody hell, what did you do?!
1) I had a quick Disaster Wank then set about destroying the evidence before running off into the woods.
by Harold Bishop's Love Child March 02, 2010
I like to get in a preparatory wank before I pound my wife into the mattress, but I have to be careful or I won't be able to cum, just pump her dry pussy for an hour before giving up.
by Strokher Ace November 28, 2013
n. Masterbating whilst mentally reliving past sexual failures and "Trying to put right what once went wrong."
I totally blew it with the hot chick with the big jugs last night. She walked away 'to talk to her friends' and I knew she wasn't coming back. I ended having a Quantum Wank over her when I got home so my balls didn't explode. Those puppies weren't hard to forget!
by Lucky Bastard MK1 May 05, 2010
Wanking casually, usually when a person wanks whilst talking to a friend and having a generally good time. Often happens at social gatherings
by JakeCookieee July 28, 2015
by TeddyBazz October 17, 2015
To remain stoic and in touch with your spiritual side while engaging in the act of masturbation. It could also be to masturbate with a higher purpose in mind than merely the pursuit of bodily pleasures.
Father: son, did i just catch you tugging your meat soldier?
son: yes dad, but dont worry, it was a noble wank.
Father: Well that's ok then son, you have maintained your dignity. I'll speak with your mother and see if we cant raise your allowance a bit.
son: thank you father.
son: yes dad, but dont worry, it was a noble wank.
Father: Well that's ok then son, you have maintained your dignity. I'll speak with your mother and see if we cant raise your allowance a bit.
son: thank you father.
by Dasten April 17, 2014
Shaun liked nothing better than a Romantic Wank after a long day at the office. Put on some Barry White run a hot bath light some candles and charm the snake while getting freaky like Grace Jones until bed time.
by PoOpa FoOker December 14, 2015