toilet text

Hahaha. I just made this up. After the guy I'm seeing said he was at work, "melting on the toilet" and texting me. The YouTube video he sent me while on the toilet was in Russian. Enough said. It doesn't have to be dirty. But it can be. There are no rules for "toilet texters." You know you want to send one! Do it! Now!

A toilet text just might be better than a sext. Is that possible? Yes. It really is.

by Femalesheep June 15, 2014

Toilet Texting

When texting is done on the toilet.

"He sent me 20 texts today which is odd. He hardly ever texts and said he had the runs."
"I think he was toilet texting you."
"Gross!"

by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008

Toilet Whore

One who frequently uses other people's toilets or bathrooms as to not stink up their own.

Ben - "Hey guys, my toilet is clogged again, and when I called the plumber the line was busy so I was wondering if --"

John - "Not after what you did last time you toilet whore!"

by rsmith1724 September 14, 2009

toilet greaser

Hand-job given (or received) in a truck stop restroom with a random trucker you met on the CB radio while on the road.

Hey truckers...heading out eastbound on I-10 for next 3 days. Honk & flash high-beams if you're up for a toilet greaser. (Doug Stanhope)

by stinkyapples March 22, 2014

Toilet Trout

A close cousin of the Stray Dave with all the staying power but none of the bouyancy. a Toilet Trout sits on the bottom of the pan developing am orangey-brown "halo"
Can sometimes be shifted by "Tout Tickling" - urinating at high pressure to break the trout down into flushable pieces

that toilet trout must've been there ages, look at the size of the halo!!

by Simon January 19, 2004

toilet bruises

a brown spot left in the toilet by a turd recetly flushed. Occuring most often after a long night of mixed drinks.
toilet bruises have also been found in bus and train stations as well as households.

my in-laws decided to leave me some memories of last night in the form of toilet bruises before leaving town on the bus...

by buttfcker14 March 17, 2010

Toilet Baby

A crap so large it resembles a crowning infant. Stitches may be required to reassemble the anal port.

After Thanksgiving I had a toilet baby that was so large, I was in poop labor for 3 hours.

by Benicio Del Torro April 11, 2009