Mayonnaise Man

A Caucasian man older than 35 years. Usually balding/bald, overweight, has a deep voice, and works either in blue collar industries or law enforcement.

They drive lifted trucks, vote republican, are homophobic, and order their sandwiches with extra mayonnaise. In other words, a stereotypical middle aged white man.

Bonus points if the mayonnaise man is misogynistic.

Jeff is such a mayonnaise man! He's literally eating a mayonnaise sandwich in his lifted chevy truck!

by Mayonnaise mike August 2, 2025

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jar of mayonnaise

A usually bald Caucasian man whose personality is as bland and congealed as his condiment counterpart. Can be found mansplaining “logic” on Facebook or complaining about cancel culture while quoting Joe Rogan. Feels personally attacked by diversity and pronouns.

Often seen wearing wraparound sunglasses, quoting Jordan Peterson, and blaming women or immigrants for his own mediocrity.

“Yo check out that jar of mayonnaise wearing a neck gaiter and trying to find hard working immigrants to abduct.”

by chicagocowgirl777 October 21, 2025

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Montenegro Moldy Mayonnaise

This substance is when you mix the following items: 15 ounces Smegma, 2 qts Sperm, 5 tbs gonorrhea infested period discharge, 1 liter of dead horse sperm and 2 expired eggs. After mixing the substances, you place it in your cabnit for 2 months, run it through the dishwasher and finally place it in the oven for 20 minutes on 400 degrees F. Finally you consume this disgusting creation with friends and family!

"My Brother and I, Zack, just whipped up some Montenegro Moldy Mayonnaise?"
"Sure"
Opens mason jar lid
"Holy fuck what is that smell, what did you make that out of?"
"Family secrete recipe"

by JamesPage February 18, 2025

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