by CoolingtonLivesAgain August 23, 2019
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When a stranger approaches you for no apparent reason and almost immediately tells you their life story. Public transport, bars and queues are the most popular places for the 5 Minute Mate to be found. Often they will start with a casual comment relevant to the situation and progress very quickly leading to you knowing everything that ever happened to them in their life in 5 minutes. They'll walk away leaving you tired and confused but safe in the knowledge you just made another 5 Minute Mate.
"Oh my this bank queue doesn't seem to be getting any shorter."
Me: "I know, terrible isn't it..."
"I remember once being in a queue for an hour just to pay in a cheque and then I was late for a doctors appointment to see whether the mole on my back was malignant or not. Turns out it wasn't but actually on the same day I found out I had a VD, I just mentioned a pain when I was urinating, you know a passing comment...of course I confronted my wife. She denied it. I was hoping she had changed her ways but she'd been shagging the Insurance guy. Last time it was the man who fitted the cable. It's funny you know, I used to sell insurance. Now I sell carpet cleaners...anyway no cancer but I ended up at the VD clinic and divorced. She got the dog, I was upset but I was always a little allergic to the hairs. I have a cat now. Called him Byron after my twin brother who died when I was 7....." and so it goes on for 3 more minutes.
The 5 Minute Mate.
Me: "I know, terrible isn't it..."
"I remember once being in a queue for an hour just to pay in a cheque and then I was late for a doctors appointment to see whether the mole on my back was malignant or not. Turns out it wasn't but actually on the same day I found out I had a VD, I just mentioned a pain when I was urinating, you know a passing comment...of course I confronted my wife. She denied it. I was hoping she had changed her ways but she'd been shagging the Insurance guy. Last time it was the man who fitted the cable. It's funny you know, I used to sell insurance. Now I sell carpet cleaners...anyway no cancer but I ended up at the VD clinic and divorced. She got the dog, I was upset but I was always a little allergic to the hairs. I have a cat now. Called him Byron after my twin brother who died when I was 7....." and so it goes on for 3 more minutes.
The 5 Minute Mate.
by Erica Cantona October 2, 2013
Get the 5 Minute Mate mug.Australian slang for a throat fuck
Justin : Fancy a Barbie tonight mate?
Paul : Yeah be there @ 7
Justin : Great, don’t be late to didgeridoo me throat mate!
“Fuck yeah, didgeridoo me throat”
Paul : Yeah be there @ 7
Justin : Great, don’t be late to didgeridoo me throat mate!
“Fuck yeah, didgeridoo me throat”
by JangelinaMcCuntea May 20, 2019
Get the Didgeridoo me throat mate mug.A simple Term uttered most commonly by a person in Secondary School who hasn't got a fucking clue what the next class is.
by MATE I HUD A ACCIDENT BOI HELP November 20, 2019
Get the what we got next mate? mug.by Fofdog May 24, 2020
Get the popped a tub mate mug.G’Day Mate is the act of applying Australian Gold Sunscreen to one’s anus prior to Butthole Sunning. In case you’re wondering, like I was, Butthole Sunning is an actual thing. Apparently “absorbing sunlight through your anus is a great way to recharge your whole system”.
Chris: “Hey Sarah, it’s supposed to be 85 and sunny tomorrow....you know what that means!”
Sarah: “Sure do! It means you’re still worried about your melanoma coming back and you need me to give your asshole a G’Day Mate.”
Chris: *sad faced* “Yes.”
Sarah: “Sure do! It means you’re still worried about your melanoma coming back and you need me to give your asshole a G’Day Mate.”
Chris: *sad faced* “Yes.”
by Lee Kinanis November 6, 2020
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