Perpetual Gooner

Referring to a person who has become so lost in the sauce of pornography or other stimulating media, that they lose access to their higher brain function, seeing the world as a complete goon fest, masturbating dozens of time a day, often leading to decreased productivity in their daily lives, along with the destruction of friendships and other personal relationships.

Danny: Hey do you know if Matt is gonna come rock climbing with us this weekend?

Seth: Really Danny? Matt has become a fucking perpetual gooner, I haven’t even heard from him in weeks, I really doubt he’s coming with us this weekend.

Danny: …fuck… I miss him man.

Seth: *sigh* Me too man.

by CrazyCronker47 July 19, 2025

AI gooner

Using AI as to not have to use your brainpower for productive tasks,

instead opting to use your brain for useless, unproductive time wasters.

Livio is a total AI gooner. He just lets claude write his unit tests while he runs it down in league.

by RangedDeer July 23, 2025

Non-gooner

People who don't literally goon
uh yeah
really thats it.

"wow you don't goon, your a non-gooner!"
"uh yeah vro, I am a non-gooner."

by Hyperman555 October 17, 2025

Henri Gooner

The act of two females scissoring each other but forget to lube up but realize they don't have to because they are females.

I accidentally did a Henri Gooner with my roommate. I'm so stupid.

by George Corn October 19, 2025

Mundy Gooner

A kid who goons in a public bathroom in school

“There goes the mundy gooner!”
“Are you the mundy gooner?”

by Xxert October 21, 2025

Poopy Gooner

A gooner of a high caliber of which they can't control themselves and feel the urge to do it everywhere at every time, other than out in public. Poopy Gooners are especially known to goon while they are taking a shit. Poopy Gooners have the capability to goon while shitting consecutively.

"Hey, you're taking too damn long in the bathroom! Don't tell me you are gooning again you damn poopy gooner!"

by 6 or 7 mustard seeds November 13, 2025

Post-Goonerism

When you watch porn and jack off so often that you stop feeling anything from it, so you end up retreating back into the real world.

Usually can be defined when someone finds watching porn or jacking off boring and slowly decides to stop jacking off entirely.

Chad: yo bro why is James taking walks outside in the park all of a sudden? he used to stay inside all the time.
Joe: James is having post-goonerism, the dude decided to touch grass now

by auxre November 15, 2025