Reading the Newspaper

Name: Reading the Newspaper Mug
Brand: Urban Dictionary
Price: 32.95 USD
Availability: InStock

Reading the newspaper is the act of jacking off, beating the meat, choking the chicken, spanking the monkey, buffing the banana, wanking off, pocket pool, pleasure yourself, or just plain old masturbation.

Caitlyn: I don't read the newspaper not three, not four, but fifty-six times daily!

Taylor: Ohh girl, I got choo and I love using anime as an aid to reading the newspaper!

Monica: My mom reads the newspaper, every morning before breakfast..

by t0uchmiib0dy August 2, 2008

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Reading Grandma A Bedtime Story

To masturbate while eating out old women-also known as playing Counter Strike.

Man, go read grandma a bed time story.

by DIE May 28, 2003

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Related Words

retarding • retarding basin • Retarding force • Charlotte Retarding • Retardigan • retardigga • retardin • Retardiness • retardinho • Retardlings

Retardlings

those children of people who procreated that really shouldnt have.... you know the ones that you just shake your head at and ask silently why?

Oh my, who knew here in Wal Mart we would see so many retardlings in one afternoon!!!

by Outofhismind July 2, 2012

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retardinized

When oneself was at one point a normal person, but became a very large retard. To become retardinized is useful in the moron test(a very challenging game on the I-device). After one becomes retardinized, they often will do very dumb and inhuman things. One example being cliff jumping.

John became retardinized and somehow got anal worms.

by JohnDoe08 November 22, 2013

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Reading Textbooks

Code for smoking weed.

Joe: Hey Bob wanna go and start reading textbooks after school today?
Bob: Hell yeah!
Uninformed kid: Oh wow they sure like studying. They don't look like the type to care about school.

by Ightweed January 9, 2015

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