Origin: First officially documented in the year of our Lord 2024 by Mike K. of Redondo Beach — a man whose voice was smooth as silk and whose spiritual awakening is constantly being tested by schmo's playing with their phones in meetings, and weak coffee. Blessings be unto him.
An evolved species of AA old-timer who walks the fine line between enlightenment and homicide. The Bleeding Statesman is a spiritual hybrid — part Elder Statesman, part Bleeding Deacon — combining hard-won wisdom with low-key exasperation and an intolerance for bullshit.
With decades of sobriety under their belt, they’ve seen it all — the steps, the slogans, the cycles — and still manage to show up (mostly on time). They carry a sharp spiritual toolkit and just enough restraint to stay out of jail. Think Zen master, but with mild caffeine withdrawal and unresolved group conscience trauma.
They don’t judge — they perform character assessments.
They meditate — on que with "I cant believe this b*tch is sharing this again"
They’re spiritually grounded — but always five seconds away from leaving.
An evolved species of AA old-timer who walks the fine line between enlightenment and homicide. The Bleeding Statesman is a spiritual hybrid — part Elder Statesman, part Bleeding Deacon — combining hard-won wisdom with low-key exasperation and an intolerance for bullshit.
With decades of sobriety under their belt, they’ve seen it all — the steps, the slogans, the cycles — and still manage to show up (mostly on time). They carry a sharp spiritual toolkit and just enough restraint to stay out of jail. Think Zen master, but with mild caffeine withdrawal and unresolved group conscience trauma.
They don’t judge — they perform character assessments.
They meditate — on que with "I cant believe this b*tch is sharing this again"
They’re spiritually grounded — but always five seconds away from leaving.
“I watched Mike meditate for like 40 minutes before the meeting… but then he snapped and told the newcomer to stop reading the promises like it was a TED Talk. That man’s a textbook Bleeding Statesman.”
“The dude’s got 30 years, quotes the Big Book and Marcus Aurelius, and still glares when someone’s late. Total Bleeding Statesman.”
“He sat through 10 minutes of announcements grumbling… then muttered, ‘This isn’t a PTA meeting,’ and walked out. Bleeding Statesman energy all day.”
“She shared for 25 minutes about her cat, and he just sat there blinking. Then he whispered, ‘Tradition Five, not storytime,’ and stared into the void. Certified Bleeding Statesman.”
“The dude’s got 30 years, quotes the Big Book and Marcus Aurelius, and still glares when someone’s late. Total Bleeding Statesman.”
“He sat through 10 minutes of announcements grumbling… then muttered, ‘This isn’t a PTA meeting,’ and walked out. Bleeding Statesman energy all day.”
“She shared for 25 minutes about her cat, and he just sat there blinking. Then he whispered, ‘Tradition Five, not storytime,’ and stared into the void. Certified Bleeding Statesman.”
by Sponsorus Maximus April 6, 2025
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Get the internal bleeding mug.When one bleeds from the penile region.
Gary: "Hey Kolton, where's Jacob?"
Kolton: "Oh, Jacob is suffering from penile bleeding after he attempted to perform a circumcision by himself,"
Kolton: "Oh, Jacob is suffering from penile bleeding after he attempted to perform a circumcision by himself,"
by SpiritOfWuTang December 1, 2017
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Get the Bleed wood mug.An educational video on the viewing platform of YouTube, a child possibly diagnosed with Aspergers and Down Syndrome, shows us the side effects of shoving a Cheetos Snack down his genitalia, resulting in his genitalia begin to bleed.
"Can I have a Cheetos?"
Not even 30 seconds later:
"My nuts were bleeding! Oh my God, there's blood everywhere!"
Not even 30 seconds later:
"My nuts were bleeding! Oh my God, there's blood everywhere!"
by Ryben79 June 1, 2018
Get the My nuts were bleeding! mug.ryan reynolds: draws 4 cards
me: ryan you're bleeding hard man i can see your wilds
ryan: man were you fucking looking
me: ofc im at uno and its going the wrong way
me: ryan you're bleeding hard man i can see your wilds
ryan: man were you fucking looking
me: ofc im at uno and its going the wrong way
by §wimming January 3, 2022
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