An arborist in upstate NY who employes felons.
Felon: "hey Carl, you hiring?"
Carl: "Yeah Dude, can you run a chainsaw?"
Felon: "fuck yeah dude! I got tons of experience in that! I chainsawed my girlfriend into pieces. That's how I got my first felony!"
Carl: "Right on. When can you start?"
Felon: "Right after I get that body out of my trunk... Can I run the wood chipper too?"
Carl: "Of course. You at clearly qualified and trustworthy. Welcome to Fellon's Tree Removal."
Carl: "Yeah Dude, can you run a chainsaw?"
Felon: "fuck yeah dude! I got tons of experience in that! I chainsawed my girlfriend into pieces. That's how I got my first felony!"
Carl: "Right on. When can you start?"
Felon: "Right after I get that body out of my trunk... Can I run the wood chipper too?"
Carl: "Of course. You at clearly qualified and trustworthy. Welcome to Fellon's Tree Removal."
by Double take July 10, 2025
Get the Fellon's Tree Removal mug.An arborist company that hires felons to come to your house and trim your bushes. They charge extra to cut trees but will trim your bush for free.
Becky "I was going to hire Felons Tree Removal to trim the trees at my house. You think they're any good?"
Lateesha "Bitch, I don need no felons trimin' my bush!"
Lateesha "Bitch, I don need no felons trimin' my bush!"
by SuperWordNerd July 10, 2025
Get the Felons Tree Removal mug.A tree trimming service from Chazy NY who hires felons - preferably registered sex offenders - to trim your bushes and peep in your windows.
Felon's Tree Removal does a great job as long as you don't mind rapists and murders peeping in your windows and casing the joint.
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