When you're naked and playing with your hamster or other small rodent and it decides, against your permission, to crawl inside of your vagina and not come out until forced. Sometimes, it will have a sexy adventure.
by Rad E April 7, 2016
Get the hamster vagina mug.An elaborate sexual maneuver involving weeks of preparation and a large initial cost investment (should be avoided by all but the most committed and enthusiastic individuals). Supplies needed: octopus, gym membership, a fun-loving and adventure-seeking spirit, more lube than you've ever used in your life, an on-site surgeon (in case of disaster) and Grimm's Book of Fairy Tales.
Instructions:
1) become extremely fit as a member of your local gym or community center.
2) purchase a salt water tank and octopus-- preferably a Caribbean reef octopus for its lovely indigo hue, but the common Octopus vulgaris will do.
3) *ANIMAL CRUELTY INVOLVED IN THE FOLLOWING STEP* De-tentacle the octopus, and desert the body in the appropriate biohazard container of your choice. Preserve the tentacles in your salt water tank.
4) Read your partner, in the accent of your choice, the most fucked-up of Grimm's Fairy Tales. Excellent choices include Little Red Riding Hood and Hansel & Gretel.
4) For every murmur of horror they admit, slap your partner's genitalia with the tentacles.
5) Repeat until the fairy tales are complete or the tentacles no longer have any live neurons and cannot move on their own.
6) Afterwards, do cartwheels to air out one's vagina! THE VAGINA CARTWHEEL IS NOT COMPLETE WITHOUT THIS PROCESS.
THIS SEXUAL MANEUVER IS ILLEGAL IN THE CONTINENTAL UNITED STATES AND PUERTO RICO.
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED*
(post-traumatic stress disorder a distinct possibility)
Instructions:
1) become extremely fit as a member of your local gym or community center.
2) purchase a salt water tank and octopus-- preferably a Caribbean reef octopus for its lovely indigo hue, but the common Octopus vulgaris will do.
3) *ANIMAL CRUELTY INVOLVED IN THE FOLLOWING STEP* De-tentacle the octopus, and desert the body in the appropriate biohazard container of your choice. Preserve the tentacles in your salt water tank.
4) Read your partner, in the accent of your choice, the most fucked-up of Grimm's Fairy Tales. Excellent choices include Little Red Riding Hood and Hansel & Gretel.
4) For every murmur of horror they admit, slap your partner's genitalia with the tentacles.
5) Repeat until the fairy tales are complete or the tentacles no longer have any live neurons and cannot move on their own.
6) Afterwards, do cartwheels to air out one's vagina! THE VAGINA CARTWHEEL IS NOT COMPLETE WITHOUT THIS PROCESS.
THIS SEXUAL MANEUVER IS ILLEGAL IN THE CONTINENTAL UNITED STATES AND PUERTO RICO.
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED*
(post-traumatic stress disorder a distinct possibility)
"My, what large teeth you have!" *gasp of horror* *slapping noise*
"Hey, I hear Henry F. is super-into Vagina Cartwheels!"
"Hey, I hear Henry F. is super-into Vagina Cartwheels!"
by the love pad November 12, 2012
Get the Vagina cartwheels mug.when a girl is on top riding her partner's penis and all of a sudden it slips out and she goes back down on it when the penis is not lined up to insert itself into the vagina therefore hitting the bone and creating a vicious bend of the penis causing pain to the dick area
by Luke G May 18, 2008
Get the vagina stomp mug.Jaclyn: "yesterday David was over my house kissing my neck "
Rachel:" did you do anything with him "
Jaclyn: "No...i was so horny I was getting heartbeats in my vagina "
Rachel: "Vagina heartbeats!!"
Rachel:" did you do anything with him "
Jaclyn: "No...i was so horny I was getting heartbeats in my vagina "
Rachel: "Vagina heartbeats!!"
by Ciswavy May 8, 2018
Get the Vagina heartbeat mug.Occurs when you place an empty taco shell within the folds of a woman's labia, then lay a miniature sombrero on her boosh.
Me and my girl were feeling spicy last night so we took a trip south of the border and I had a little Vagina Acapulco.
by LeCobra April 25, 2011
Get the Vagina Acapulco mug.When you're so tired you develop large bags under your eyes - so large that they are the same size as your eyelids. Together, both resemble labium majora (female bits) horizontally.
by BeaneDefines May 19, 2015
Get the Vagina eyes mug.The "Vagina-Keepers" is an alternative label to the group of "Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists" TERF who act as gatekeepers to womanhood by trying to deny MtF (male to female) trans individuals their identity and access to shared protections, based on their lack of a vagina at birth.
After having spent generations fighting to stop using this reductive criteria.
Vagina Keepers is a tongue-in-cheek cross play on the term Gatekeeper who is a person who controls access to something and The Vagina Monologues, a play criticised for its conflation of vaginas as women and women as their vaginas.
After having spent generations fighting to stop using this reductive criteria.
Vagina Keepers is a tongue-in-cheek cross play on the term Gatekeeper who is a person who controls access to something and The Vagina Monologues, a play criticised for its conflation of vaginas as women and women as their vaginas.
The Vagina-Keepers are notorious for making trans-phobic statements such as "I say I'm a unicorn, so that makes me one" as a means to degrade and diminish the trans experience and existence.
by Tan2016 April 27, 2019
Get the Vagina-Keepers mug.