Kangaroo Telescope

A very strong, but small telescope that can be used to look at Uranus and also used as a dildo.

"I bought a kangaroo telescope yesterday and I already fucked with it fourteen times!"

by 𝒮𝑜𝒻𝒾𝒶 ♤ April 28, 2024

Quinton tlusty

A man that will shit in your ass then proceed to fuck you then eat his shit out of a tortilla shell for free

ugh i really could use a quinton tlusty right now.

by mason switlick April 2, 2024

Fucking Telstra

It's what you say when you cannot make calls in rural areas because there is no phone signal. Telstra was the first and always is blamed as the worst, internet and phone service provider in Australia.

"I tried to reach you but I couldn't; Fucking Telstra!"
"The phone doesn't work out here. Fucking Telstra!"
"Fucking Telstra took down 3G, and took down all of us out here in the country. It's alright for those city slickers, they get looked after. Fucking Telstra!"

by Barron Lands December 14, 2024

Gavey Jones' Telescope

When you give an Angry pirate to a one eyed girl

The Captain felt a rumble down below
There was but one thing he did know
He'd need to use Gavey Jones' telescope
As his cannon was primed to blow
He pulled his anchor and docked the cove
Of a one eye holed hoe

by Cmac42069 July 23, 2019

Dead Man Tells No Tales

When a person is too high to communicate.

"Are you okay man?"
*looks over
".............."
"Dead man tells no tales."

by Frankster420 October 7, 2019

Gentleman never tells

When one of the boys wont tell what kind of erotic things he has done with a girl the night before

Guy 1: Bro what did u and that female do in the bedroom last night?

Guy 2: Gentleman never tells🤫

by Kabruhh November 28, 2021

mouse in a telescope

A tampon , prior to its normal use .

Do me a favour Sweetheart , dive into my handbag and bring me a mouse in a telescope , there’s a handful of them in there .
I thought I only needed a piss , but the monkeys nose is bleeding

by Napoleon BonerPart February 4, 2023