Jared

The biggest Bitch the world has ever Known. He is a douchbage who loves licking big sweaty balles and sucks monkey cocks at the zoo.

If you want to go to heaven don't be a Jared.

by Erick decker May 8, 2018

Jared

To completely kill everyone in the room's buzz by being totally negative and against everyone else.

Wow, that Jared completely ruined the party.

No, I couldn't have fun last night, i was with a Jared

Bald Headed FUCK!

by buttsexman1234 February 4, 2010

jared

the act of messing with or fucking up someone's Myspace/Facebook/etc. profile without their permission. You can jared someone's profile by adding lame interests, changing their default picture to David Hasselhoff, or changing their 'about me' section to reflect a homosexual lifestyle.

Example of jared :

"I'm sick of getting my profile jared-ed every time I forget to sign out!"

"I spent four hours last night jared-ing her profile."

by Larongitis December 9, 2008

Jared

To create something large in size for consumption. To upsize or upgrade something typically small or bite-size into something larger than usual.

Name derived from Subway's spokesman Jared Fogel.

"I'm totally going to jared this s'more", said Alan has he built a 4 marshmallow, 2 graham cracker, and 1 full chocolate bar s'more around the campfire.

You want to jared these Bagel Bites into a 4-story pizza tower?

by RobinAmerica July 7, 2009

Jared

The flap of skin that connects your balls to your penis. Not to be mistaken for a gooch, which is the skin between your balls and your asshole.

"Ahh, that feels so good, Don't forget the Jared Baby."

by The Jared December 26, 2008

Jared Katz

also known as Nick Jonas

Jared is Nick Jonas

Jonasssss brotherrrrr

Jared Katz is jonas brotha

by rwrweewrwr January 12, 2009

jared and courtney

verb when 3 people go behind a random building and start making out for 30 minutes, and dont care to stop when:

A: there are 2 old guys standing right next to them

B: half their grade is watching, and throwing rocks

guy 1: kid, look at nick and megan!!!! they're totally pullina a jared and courtney!

guy 2: man i know! ive been throwing rocks at them the whole time

guy 3: wow... there still going and theres 2 like 80 year old guys right there

by William Shakespeareson April 13, 2008