CRACKHEAD THEORY

An absurd theory that makes no sense, that actually has some proof behind it.

That's a damn crackhead theory!

by Alien Shroom March 28, 2024

arden theory

The Arden Theory is that no one named Arden actually looks like they’d be an Arden

Person 1: “oh look at this girl, Arden”
Person 2: “her name is Arden? She looks more like a Caitlyn to me…”
Person 1: “totally.”
Person 2: “see? Arden Theory.”

by Shrek5ever April 7, 2024

Conspiracy theory

What about Fat-Cock Self-Preservation Theory, Cody? What do you think of that one? The most profound and accurate conspiracy theory on the web!

Hym "How's this for a conspiracy theory: The accusations of liar and grifter do nothing to hurt right-wing pundits EXPLICITLY BECAUSE they aren't intended to hurt them but, rather, deflate the value of liar and grifter accusations in a deliberate attempt to cover for ineffective political opposition. Because sure you're calling them a liar and a grifter but if you can keep them in the forefront of people's minds you can keep out the MORE EFFECTIVE opposition out of the lime light and maintain the status quo. So, denigrating the political opposition ISN'T TO GET YOU TO STOP LISTENING TO JORDAN PETERSON... It to get you to focus on Jordan Peterson instead of me. Because he is harmless and ineffective and I am not."

by Hym Iam April 12, 2024

Toothpaste theory

T = f(P, Q)
Where:
T represents the perception of time,
P denotes the specific properties of the toothpaste formulation,
Q signifies the quantum interactions involved.
This formula suggests that the perception of time (1*) is a function (f) influenced by the properties o the toothpaste (P) and the quantum interactions (Q) it engages with. It hypothesizes that these variables combine in a manner that alters temporal perception, as observed and tested through empirical studies.

Toothpaste Theory suggests that specific formulations of toothpaste, when applied in controlled settings, exhibit properties that interact with quantum particles. Through rigorous empirical studies and experiments, these interactions have shown measurable effects on temporal perception. This approach integrates principles from quantum mechanics to explore how everyday substances could influence fundamental aspects of time. The theory's foundation in scientific methodology ensures its reliability and potential implications for understanding broader scientific phenomena.

by Hooville dittlebottom May 19, 2024

pygyattoras theorem

When you are doing Pythagoras theorem in maths class but get very horny because of the way that hypotenuse looks at you in the corner of your eye.

You think you're just going crazy but then you realise it's calling out to you.

Screw the A squared and B squared, look at that sexy C squared.

And it only gets better when you find the square root of that. A lonely little C waiting for you just outside the door...

You strip naked and get ready to pound the living shit out of that hypotenuse.

In maths today that Pygyattoras theorem got me going real hard.

by SkibidiDonkeyMan May 21, 2024

Speech Theorist

A fucking bitch.

Homie 1: Did you hear about that bitch named Speech Theorist?

Homie 2: Yeah he a bitch fr.

by DarkendMage May 22, 2024

Coincidence Theorist

A person who rejects conspiracy theories, even though (in some cases) there is sufficient evidence to suggest that the "conspiracy theory" may, in fact, be true.

The Coincidence Theorists argue that it's just a coincidence that a significant portion of Hollywood stars & musicians are now openly Satanic

by OfficialUrbanus May 30, 2024