Jesus

Big beefy man boy who sits behind you in science and asks for a pencil (but little do you know he's crushing on you secretly). He has a strange background. He says he was born in the holy land or something. He is the most hottest man you will ever ever see in all of your life. He will always be the man you love, so you worship him in church every day so maybe he might come back to you and marry you, so you have an excuse to divorce your now husband ,David.

Grandkid 1: Nana what is love?
You: A great and amazing thing
Grandkid 2: Who was your first love.
You: ah it was a long time ago.. Jesus. That's why I go to church everyday.

by Ratatouille#1. January 8, 2020

Jesus

A Jew. (this is for all Christians who believe that being mean to Jews is cool and it has to do with Christ) Jesus was born by a harlot in the year 7 a.d. he was born a jew, he died a jew. he was killed by ROMANS (not other Jews). Also, the Roman emperor burned him on the cross while eating dinner, so he was not taken off.

"Jesus died a Jew"

by Fred Johnson 3 June 15, 2009

Jesus

Jesus

Susej

Pronounced susage, sounds like sausage and is used to describe the hardness of the male erection.

Damn my dick be as hard as a “Jesus” right now man!

by YEETRMAN-/;o;/ April 25, 2019

Jesus

This BITCH is just Sausage backwards here's an example

Oh I believe in Jesus the Sausage

by MemeGod2000000 November 13, 2018

Jesus

A person who eats only cow shit for a diet

"WOW! i wouldnt want to be jesus"

"Why is jesus always getting into fights?!"

by Axelymwa January 31, 2022

Jesus

Jesus is a good man who wanted the good of all, to lead the people of this world to his heavenly father and thought us how to be baptized because all he wanted was the peoples happiness and Gods too.

Jesus: i hope one day i can be like him.

by ashely04030 May 9, 2016

Jesus

According to many, Jesus may or may not have existed. Yes, there may have been a Jesus of Nazareth that lived around 6 BCE-29 CE yet whether he was the 'son of god' is a debate only historians have yet to verify. I personally am no atheist, i am agnostic, but zeitgeist is right: Jesus is a piscean personification of Horus, the sun god of egypt, alongside dionysis, mithra, krishna, and many more.

They call me jesus, but i am not the historical jesus, just the jesus of this time, not the reincarnation because that would be blasphemy (lol!)

by Jesuswuzhere October 21, 2010