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An established Jesus peep may declare the Jesusness of a person, place, object, idea or situation for the sole purpose of observing the reaction of the potentially Jesus peep. This reaction would serve as confirmatory evidence of the Jesusness or non-Jesusness of the peep. The reaction of a non-Jesus peep could range from a look of bewilderment, to a facepalm, to a look of disgust--or simply walking away from the situation altogether. A Jesus peep would convey understanding of the Jesus-ness of the subject through unhesitant laughter, a high five, hand hug, or the Jesus Nod. In addition to these acknowledgements, the most bitchin' Jesus person would readily offer additional insight that further develops the Jesusness of the Jesus topic.

It must also be noted that usage of the term 'Jesus' may serve as an acceptable means of self-promotion. At the appropriate moments, a Jesus person might decide to claim Jesusness--much in the same way a nonJesus person would say, "I'm cool," the main difference being the irrefutability of the Jesusness of the Jesus peep, as opposed to the probable uncoolness of the nonJesus peep. The reason behind this is simple: Jesus is truth, and Jesus peeps only speak truth. Thus, it ain't bitchin' if it ain't Jesus.
Jesus peep: It ain't bitchin' if it ain't Jesus!
Jesus peep: Holy shit, it IS Jesus!
by jesuser than a mofo August 11, 2010
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282
A Mexican male name of both Hebrew and Spanish origin. Pronounced "hey-zeus".

Jesus' are often times shy, guarded, and like to keep to themselves. However, when they find motivation to do something, they are the least shy people of all. Once comfortable with someone, although still guarded, they will open up a bit more.

They are known for their masculine looks and exasperated sighs. They are characterized by strong arm and bicep muscles which many find useful when pulling a woman in for a kiss. The skin of a Jesus is constantly warm to the touch unless they are outside for long periods of time in inappropriate clothing, such as at a high school football game in the end of October in a light jacket.

When they have a bad feeling about something, some may stay up throughout the night until they get bad new, like a phone call from a crying friend.

When a Jesus finds a girl, always a beauty in their eyes, there will either be terrible heartbreak or wondrous love. He will one day find a girl that adores his smiles and will get lost in his eyes. When they embrace, she'll wonder what has taken her so long to find this person. Both will realize just how much they love each other and how much they both want to spend the rest of their lives together.

When they no longer hold back, they become a great listener, a caring best friend, and a tender lover. Anyone who gets to know them for who they really are will either fall in love with them, or wish that they had him as a best friend.
I'm completely in love with my Jesus, who gives me affectionate kisses and holds me in his arms until I fall asleep.

I want to spend the rest of my life with Jesus, my best friend until the end.

Will you marry me, Jesus?

I can always count on Jesus to remember a certain moment that means a lot to them for years and years, possibly for the rest of him life. Certain objects, such as an AC/DC jacket, arcade tokens from a first date, or even a girl's dolphin necklace, are triggers for memories that sometimes keep him up at night.

Even though his family is bothersome to him, he is loyal and compassionate about every single one of them. He never lets a birthday go forgotten or unrecognized.
by DyingMelodies October 27, 2013
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283
some mistake baby shot out of this ho's cunt and started doing card tricks. everyone thought it was awesome and spread a rumor saying he was magical. then a couple dudes got jealous of him and beat him half to death with baseball bats. that gave jesus some brain damage and he started thinking he was the son of god. he started gloating about it so everyone started thinking he was a dick, so they all gathered to torture him. jesus was too crazy to give shit, plus he had 4 strokes and 3/4ths of his body was numb. they thought it would be funny if they made him rot on a cross for awhile so they pounded nails into his limbs. he died slowly. 3 days later a buncha fags went in a cave and saw a dead guy and thought it was jesus so they spread a rumour, and the cult of christianty began!
Jesus: i can du magic trix
dude: nuuh
jesus: yeah huh
dude: well i can beat you half to death *beats*
jesus: lol ima the son of god u no kill me
dude: dude stfu
jesus: no, im da son of god
dude: man, ima fukin kill you *kills*
jesus: brb
dude: lol nuuh
by Anal Penetration By Force August 06, 2011
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284
the man, died for our sins and stuff, great at videogames, gives great advice, and all around just a good friend! His name may in fact be Sam, and he doesn't actually love everyone, but he's still awesome!
person 1: dude, that kid owned us!
person 2: yeah, he must have been Jesus
person 1: or Sam
person 3: same thing

person 1: hey, that random guy just gave my great advice on my love life!
person 2: yeah, it was definitely Jesus.
person 1: he said his name was Sam!
person 2: yeah, he's Jesus
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285
One of the greatest Prophets of God who was later greatly exaggerated to such an extent that he was attributed with divinity by early people who wished to change the true religion of Allah. That is the reason, the beautiful message of Islam (an extremely misunderstood religion which will be free of all false accusations in the future, God-Willing), is the only true way of life that will bring success in the Hereafter and Prophet Muhammad (Allah Bless Him & Give Him Peace) is the last and final Prophet of God.
Jesus is not God. He is only but a Messenger.
by ServantofAllah November 06, 2012
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286
1.me; your heavenly savior.
2.pronounced HAY-SOOS in the sanish language
3.jewish people do not believe i am their savior. however i was jewish
i am your savior; the lord-JESUS CHRIST!
by Nicole, your savior July 23, 2008
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287
Some guy who everyone thinks was cool who was apparently the messiah and could do voodoo. We all know Ras' Tafari is the messiah! jesus christ you idiots!!!
hey lets go pray to JESUS and then make fun of minorities!!!
by Jon is beasto August 12, 2009
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