Paul's Uncle

One who has done everything and owns anything you can think of.

Guy 1: DUDE! I WISH I HAD A TELEPORTATION DEVICE
Guy 2: Paul's uncle owns one.
Guy 1: typical.

by Paul's Real Uncle June 24, 2011

uncle hank

Uncle Hank (played by Stanley Herman) is a character in the movie 'Requiem for a Dream' who likes to partake in group activities such as watching drug-addicted women perform ass-to-ass.

Can be used IRL as an innocent sounding alibi:

You: I’m just going to help take Uncle Hank to the grocery store.
Girlfriend: I didn’t know you had an uncle...
*Proceed to ass-to-ass type activities*

Uncle Hank: ASS-TO-ASS!

by Big Tim/Little John September 22, 2010

Candy Uncle

A man whom one can hire to act as a child’s uncle. However, if at any point said child eats more than one piece of candy, the candy uncle will be said to have had a mysterious death and disappear. It’s never explained, but the child knows. They know.

Jack: I’m thinking of hiring a Candy Uncle. I don’t want Harry to eat too much candy.
Jeremiah: Oh ok you do you I guess

by Pepsi Needs IRN BRU January 25, 2022

Crouching Uncle

The act of walking into your aunt's bedroom and finding your uncle with his boxers around his ankles, squatting over your aunt while serving up a PBR and creamed-corn induced hot carl into her waiting mouth... most often occurring while re-runs of the Dukes of Hazard or Full House are playing on the TV.

I went over to Uncle Jethro's after the Nascar race, and when I walked into the trailer Aunt Tina was in the midst of wiping the Crouching Uncle off of her mustache.

by Ryjamin October 6, 2011

Uncle Tom Ass Nigga

Derogatory term used mostly by black americans to describe black men whom they feel have lost touch with, or turned against, their own culture.

"Who's this police ass nigga?", asked Buckwheat.
"That's my bitch ass neighbor", said Alfalfa.
"You tell that Uncle Tom Ass Nigga that I'm watching him", said Buckwheat.
"Alright. I'll tell him right now."

by Attritionist December 7, 2020

Uncle Jemima

Uncle Jemima is a crazy old fool who just wants to make liquor and show that there's more to this world than just making pancakes.

Uncle Jemima's Down Home Mash Liquor

'More fun than Pancakes!'

Uncle Jemima: Let me ask you a question: you like drinking? Well, you like drinking - who the hell don't? Well if you're like me, then you like to get bit just as fast as possible. That's why I'm proud to introduce to you...Uncle Jemima's Pure Mash Liquor. I'm Uncle Jemima! You probably know my wife, Aunt Jemima, the pancake lady! Now she says that selling booze is degrading to our people. I always say that black folk ain't exactly swellin' up with pride on the count of you flippin' flapjack. Ain't I right Sammy?

Sammy: Listen don't get me in this mess.

Then she say "why booze?" I say "Sell what you know, and I know about booze!" Uncle Jemima's Pure Mash Liquor has a 95% alcohol content - and that's per volume!

What the hell does that mean?

That means you get f***ed up for less money! Hook a brother up! Buy some of my pure mash liquor and let's show that old bitch that there's more to this world than just making pancake!

Aunt Jemima: Pancakes is ready!

Uncle Jemima: Oh you shut up woman! You're not gonna ruin this for me!

Sammy: What you swattin' at?

by rremundo July 7, 2006

Unbelievable Jeff

A term popularised by Chris Kamara of Sky Sports News in the UK. It is used when in shock as though something is above unbelievable or near impossible

Jeff Stelling: "and we have a goal, Chris Kamara what's happening?"

Chris Kamara: "Emile Heskey has actually scored, and what a shot from outside the area, UNBELIEVABLE JEFF"

by Christinction May 28, 2013