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The onion router

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Otherwise known as the TOR browser, a browser for you to surf the amazing cyberspace. It is much faster than Netscape. Do cool things with it like hire somebody to kill another, watch somebody be murdered, or buy heroin from the silk road. An amazing array of things you can do with the wacky web!
I just sold an exclusive machine gun for only the army, then filled a tranquilizer with syringes of illegal durgs on the onion router!
by pill_dickle June 17, 2018
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The Onioniest Timeline

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An acknowledgement that we’re living in The Darkest Timeline, where satirical article concepts and titles formerly championed by The Onion are every-day, real-life news stories.
I just saw a Fox News chyron that read “TRUMP: YOU CAN’T IMPEACH SOMEBODY ‘DOING A GREAT JOB’ “ - another poignant reminder that we’re living in the Onioniest Timeline.
by #ai August 31, 2018
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Bulging the onion bag

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Common parlance among tabloid sports journalists for scoring a goal in football. Unwittingly, they are also referencing an obscure gay sex act whereby one participant stretches the other's scrotum taut across his mouth and pokes his tongue between the balls.
Rooney's having a great season, bulging the onion bag 16 times already!
by EinZweiDie January 2, 2011
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To shower and wash one's balls to get rid of nasty smell.
I just got down running, now i'm going to go scrub the onion.
by RandarXJ7 November 7, 2011
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Kieararaa the Onion

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A high pitched alien chihuahua sounding turtle speed running giraffe looking self who doesn’t comprehend the algorithm of a toothpick and instead uses it to fight hamster midgets in the middle of a grocery store while singing let it go on the top of its toungue. No one knows whether to call it a boy or a witch, but either way will shove gummy bears up it’s ass in front of you for only 1 dollar an hour. a really extraordinary thing. They are very rare so don’t forget to snap a picture of it trying to lick its butthole and use the hashtag “omgthisthingmightbedeadlorwhateverthepenisinhermouth” and get a coupon for little ceasers. Be careful though, they could be deadly. You might think they look to stupid to be dangerous but that eye roll will get you. Be careful out there folks.
Oh no I spoted a Kieararaa the Onion. Better snap it and leave.
by Godsballsareinmyhands October 5, 2019
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America's "Finest" News Source
Minotaur Wondering If There More To Life Than Bashing In Heads Of Those Who Dare Wander Into Labyrinth
By The Onion
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Eating the onion

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Taking satire news seriously.
Derived from the Onion News Network.
ONN: Kid Exists
30-year old parent: *Rants about children not existing*
That kids is called eating the onion
by Final Fox March 10, 2020
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