Skip to main content

the bible

NOT the word of God. Just a clever work of fiction that Christian cults take literally.
Smarter people ignor the bible because most of it is clearly not true.
However, who would disagree with the 10 Commandments? Just because God didn't send them down from heaven doesn't mean its OK to kill, steal, ect.
The smartest people of all understand that and learn to look at the bible symbolically. For example, "hell" is every bit of guilt, depression, rejection, and pain felt in life, while "heaven" is all comfort, happiness, love, and peace.
I, being one of these brilliant people, don't live a good life because I'm afraid of appearing in a fiery pit after I die, it just feels right. One of the greatest people that ever walked the Earth had an understanding similar to this- here is John Lennon's view on God:
"I believe in God, but not as one thing, not as an old man in the sky. I believe that what people call God is something in all of us. I believe that what Jesus and Mohammed and Buddha and all the rest said was right. It's just that the translations have gone wrong." Well said, John. Well said.
christian: I talk to God every day.

atheist: Does he talk back?

christian: Yes, through the bible.

atheist: Dumbass. The bible was written by humans. Its not God's word, its a moral guide to life. Do you want to be like Jesus?

christian: Yes

atheist: Then stop telling Him to help people and start helping people!!!
by Jim Steele September 9, 2008
mugGet the the bible mug.

The bible

1. The world's best selling book. This book is a fictional story with various authors. It's protagonist is named 'God'.
2. A fictional book used as 'proof' in arguments.
3. A book prejudice against Homosexual people.
4. A recipe for war and manual for acceptable murder.
5. The biggest lie in human history.
Theist: The bible has all the answers.
Atheist: oh, yeah? Who created 'God'?
Theist: No one did. He always existed.
Atheist: Yeah? Now you call yourself smart, right?
Theist: yeah.
Atheist: Okay, you believe that there's an imaginary man living in the sky. That the man can see everything that you're doing every second of your life.
Theist: ...
Atheist: This 'God' loves everyone but is as forgiving as he is cruel. He forgives rapists and murderers but will never forgive homosexuals. This is pure s***.
by jfq June 16, 2008
mugGet the The bible mug.

the bible

the people who defined this term are the idiots who spend 420 hours a week in their basements away from grass.
those dick lickers who called the bible fake prob spend 420 hours a week in their basement reading reddit posts about how big kanye west's dick is
by Knmagor January 24, 2023
mugGet the the bible mug.

the bible

A book talking a lot about wine and miracles... My guess is the wine came first
hic.. and now... hic... I will change this sick person into ... hic... someone healthy... Yo, take notes... will make a book... hic... with the best tricks... hic... the bible or something
by Ant0n December 25, 2008
mugGet the the bible mug.

The Bible

A book written about how God chose to create the world and humanity. The story continues with God interacting with humanity through the israelites. Humans sin, and God can't be around sin, but Jesus comes around and by paying the price for sin, death, Jesus makes it possible for humanity to relate to God again.

The Bible is about how God relates to humanity, and many people believe that it is truth. A very controversial book, has stories, advice, a moral code, and descriptions of how people can relate back to God
If you are interested in learning about Christianity, the Bible is a good place to start.
by drumhanderson February 6, 2010
mugGet the The Bible mug.

The Bible

A book of morals
only taken seriously by idiots with blind faith.
It is full of hypocracy, if you take it seriously then you are sexist (in Corinthians) and racist. mabey if you idiots acualy read it you'd see its not as great as you think.
the bible is a book of morals
by A Thinker May 5, 2005
mugGet the The Bible mug.

the bible

"the book". a fictional work instructing people to be biased idiots so they can get into heaven and worship god for all eternity. though written by *ignorant, sexist, mentally unstable* men, the bible simultaneously acts as proof of god's existence and a testament of his will. the bible repeatedly plagiarizes pagan myths and contradicts itself, but despite all this, millions of people all over the earth hang to its every word (even the contradictory ones).
jesus loves you!!! christianity is the only right religion, i will pray for you. god hates homosexuality, but loves homosexuals, because to him all people are equal, but he hates the sin of homosexuality! praise jesus! lucifer is evil, he will try to lead you to evil, but you must stay strong and find jesus!hallelujah!
by never_me April 30, 2005
mugGet the the bible mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email