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meatpress

When you put your bare ass on someone's face when they're passed out or asleep.
Dude Boen is passed out let's meatpress him
by Jangade March 20, 2011
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Meatless Muff Diver

A man whose genitalia has underdeveloped forcing him to rigorously study the art of Muff Diving. He has perfected this act so well that any muff he touches will achieve extreme satisfaction beyond belief. To become a supreme meatless muff diver the person must commit to the dive and know that no muff can go undoven.

The meatless muff divers may sometimes perform actual intercourse but it is highly unlikely because most divers genitalia is so small that once the female's eyes gaze upon the meat they instantly become turned off due to its disturbingly small girth.
Charlie was born with a disturbingly small cock and was forced to become and Meatless Muff Diver.

Chris has studied for 5 years to become a Meatless Muff Diver, but has not even begun to scratch the surface of such a feat.
by Grinder100 October 12, 2009
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Matress

The Matress is a system. And that system is designed for 2 things.
That system is there to keep us comfortable at night when we sleep, but is also designed to keep us awake, to think about how many more pillows you need.
Were you listening, neo, or were you looking at that pillow in red?
I slept on The Matress last night.
by Anonymous October 12, 2003
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Matress Bater

One who puts a condom between two matresses and has sex with it.
Scotty is the biggest matress bater. He likes to do it ALL night.
by drake!!! October 23, 2005
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matress ninja

One truly gifted in the fine arts of coitus, with ninja like bedroom skills and mad flexibility
Last night was incredible... what a matress ninja!!
by meganoshua June 8, 2011
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Meatless

One without meat. To have no meat
You: Dude I have no meat
Me: Your obviously meatless
by Mikis January 2, 2015
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matress muppet

slang word for a girls "private part" when she hasnt shaved in a while.
My girl and I were laying in bed I started to fool around with her and she said stop i need to shave. I said that I wanted to play with her matress muppet.We laughed and I pursued its wonder.
by JJhung October 18, 2009
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