A conglomerate constructed entirely of cardstock, glitter, and Keepsake ornaments. Hallmark's main goal is to perpetuate Christmas year-round, so it's four quarters are labeled as follows: Almost Christmas, Christmas, Still Christmas, and Valentine's Day. Among it's many schemes for holiday perpetuation are things such as: three (3) separate keepsake ornament events (the first of which occurs in July), constant, nagging reminders to customers to begin stocking up on cards for Christmas (beginning sometime around August), and the unnecessarily long "post-holiday sale" that runs right up to the beginning of Valentine's Day.
Since Christmas provides such a large part of Hallmark's revenue, it feels the need to begin releasing it's prized Keepsake Ornaments in early July, just as most people are finally beginning to put the horror of the previous holiday behind them. Thus, "Almost Christmas" begins, moving smoothly into "Christmas" sometime around mid-October. "Still Christmas" begins directly after New Years and runs until February 14th and often beyond, so "Still Christmas" and "Valentine's Day" often overlap.
Valentine's Day, which is the lesser of Hallmark's insidiously overdone holidays, fills in the gap between Still Christmas and Almost Christmas nicely while still managing to fill the duel purpose of guilting men into showering the objects of their affections with glittery cards, fluffy teddy bears, and heart-shaped boxes of chocolate.
Since Christmas provides such a large part of Hallmark's revenue, it feels the need to begin releasing it's prized Keepsake Ornaments in early July, just as most people are finally beginning to put the horror of the previous holiday behind them. Thus, "Almost Christmas" begins, moving smoothly into "Christmas" sometime around mid-October. "Still Christmas" begins directly after New Years and runs until February 14th and often beyond, so "Still Christmas" and "Valentine's Day" often overlap.
Valentine's Day, which is the lesser of Hallmark's insidiously overdone holidays, fills in the gap between Still Christmas and Almost Christmas nicely while still managing to fill the duel purpose of guilting men into showering the objects of their affections with glittery cards, fluffy teddy bears, and heart-shaped boxes of chocolate.
Woman One: "I'm headed to Hallmark to get some birthday cards. Do you want to come?"
Woman Two: "Nah, I'm not in the mood for Christmas stuff right now."
Woman One: "It's July, I think you're safe."
Woman Two: "Well... alright..."
Sales Associate: *as they walk into the store* "Welcome to Ornament Premiere! All of our new Christmas Keepsake Ornaments have just come out for the year!"
Woman Two: *faints*
Woman Two: "Nah, I'm not in the mood for Christmas stuff right now."
Woman One: "It's July, I think you're safe."
Woman Two: "Well... alright..."
Sales Associate: *as they walk into the store* "Welcome to Ornament Premiere! All of our new Christmas Keepsake Ornaments have just come out for the year!"
Woman Two: *faints*
by taekwondoangel1 July 18, 2009
Get the Hallmark mug.1. Over dramatic and obvious statement spewing.
-Commonly associated with the movies and actors of the Hallmark Channel.
2. An over dramatic person
-Commonly associated with the movies and actors of the Hallmark Channel.
2. An over dramatic person
"My Dad was acting very hallmarky today after watching the stock market drop and continued to act the same when he switched to the Hallmark Channel."
"Be careful, It's cold." (From a Hallmark movie in which a man jumps into water while it's snowing and the women screams the above statement.)
"Be careful, It's cold." (From a Hallmark movie in which a man jumps into water while it's snowing and the women screams the above statement.)
by Rob MJ December 6, 2011
Get the Hallmarky mug.Halimah is a beautiful girl who will treat you the way u treat her !
She can be very aggressive at times if her height is small she is always moody , angry and aggressive.
She can be very aggressive at times if her height is small she is always moody , angry and aggressive.
by Urban ox January 20, 2019
Get the Halimah mug.An ultra-cheesy movie that is shown on the Hallmark Channel; They usually are about Christmas and almost always have bad acting, a forgetable plot, scenes that are meant to make the viewer cry and they always have a happy ending.
You know it's Christmas time when the Hallmark Channel starts broadcasting a Hallmark Channel Original Movie that is related to Christmas.
by Cerebrate 1138 July 21, 2016
Get the Hallmark Channel Original Movie mug.1. a very powerful punch
2. any powerful blow, literally or figuratively
(from the wide stroke of a scythe cutting hay)
2. any powerful blow, literally or figuratively
(from the wide stroke of a scythe cutting hay)
by The Return of Light Joker April 21, 2008
Get the haymaker mug.by Teodor Lars December 9, 2021
Get the Haliman mug.Similar to the Kentucky lawnmower. The Virginia haymaker is were a man is on all fours on shag carpet about to take a strap on to the rectum. When she enters she knocks his hands down so he is face first on the carpet then is fucked across the floor giving him rugburn on his face
by Xavier Edwards March 11, 2019
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