carpenter's dream 

A flat woman. Compare to pirate's dream. From an unwarped board.

Paula is a carpenter's dream!

carpenter's dream by Bumkicker Slade May 14, 2005

Carpenter's dream 

A girl who's as flat as a board and has a wooden personality, but she's easy to nail.

I can't find a date for Saturday night, so I'll just ask out my neighbor - she's a carpenter's dream.

Carpenter's dream by rasta21 July 17, 2013

Carpenter's Revenge 

The act of forcibly inserting a hammer into the anus of an opponent. In optimal conditions, the blunt end and nail-extraction apparatus will both achieve penetration, however, any portion of the hammer enterring the rectum is sufficient. At this point, the executor of the Carpenter's Revenge will procede to rotate the hammer in a circular motion, inflicting serious damage (and/or pleasure) to the anal walls.

1. Holy shit! Bob the Builder went to town on Pedro's anus with the Carpenter's Revenge.
2. Oh my God! Jesus is back, and he's executing the Carpenter's Revenge on the anus of humanity.

Carpenter's Revenge by Keegan K August 23, 2007

carpenter job 

when you get a rusty nail full of tetanus and cram it down your urethra with a hammer.

dude, i just gave myself the most gnarly carpenter job over with a sledge-hammer.

carpenter job by reidilydeidily March 24, 2010

Carpenter Shaming 

Job shaming someone like the guy from Cosby Show. "Is Bob rich?" No, he's a poor carpenter and not nearly as sophisticated as us rich lawyers!" Or
So, I hear your a carpenter now. *cough* (when you want to put someone down")

I hear they're carpenter shaming the new hire.

Carpenter Shaming by Paul Axlerod November 27, 2019

carpenter's special 

flat chested floosy.

Flat as a board and easy to screw.

Trey: "After I finished demonstrating my new "table saw", she removed her top. 'til then, I didn't realize I was in for a carpenter's special."

Abdul: "Go figga!"

carpenter's special by Ridoinkulous March 14, 2009

Carpenter’s dozen 

A collection of sixteen of something

The hardware store sells a box of nails by the carpenter’s dozen.

Carpenter’s dozen by Joe Hardwick June 7, 2018