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Cartism, otherwise known as Automobile Spectrum Disorder, occurs when at least three of the following behaviours are manifested in an individual.
1. Inability to engage in conversation without redirecting discussion toward cars, engines, or related topics.
2. Compulsive identification of passing vehicles by make, model, trim, and wheel options, often to the bewilderment of peers
3. Excessive accumulation of trivia concerning horsepower, torque, and obscure production years.
4. Emotional distress when confronted with topics unrelated to vehicles.
5. Uncontrollable urge to compare every life event to a car metaphor (“She’s high-maintenance, like a BMW M5”).
1. Inability to engage in conversation without redirecting discussion toward cars, engines, or related topics.
2. Compulsive identification of passing vehicles by make, model, trim, and wheel options, often to the bewilderment of peers
3. Excessive accumulation of trivia concerning horsepower, torque, and obscure production years.
4. Emotional distress when confronted with topics unrelated to vehicles.
5. Uncontrollable urge to compare every life event to a car metaphor (“She’s high-maintenance, like a BMW M5”).
During the funeral, Kevin’s Cartism flared so badly he leaned over the casket and whispered, ‘Honestly, she had the aerodynamics of a ’97 Civic.
by cartism girl September 4, 2025
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