Programmer

A machine that turns coffee into code.

Why do Java programmers need glasses? Because they don't C#

by ThePunisher4012 February 15, 2022

Brohammer

The words bro and hammer combined into one awesome title for someone who is so cool they deserve a title of combined words, like bro and hammer. Often times used when greeting the friend.

"Hey Rory, 'sup brohammer?"

by wtfdude9 January 29, 2009

Adobe Programmer Syndrome (APS)

A programmer, or group of programmers, more interested in tacking more and more "bloatware" features to software, rather then cleaning up and optimizing existing code. Usually using the excuse "Computers are faster now, they can handle it"

Any real programmer knows performance > features and splash screens are soooo 2001.

Timeline of Photoshop suffering from Adobe Programmer Syndrome (APS)

load times on top performance computers.

Version Number
5 5 Seconds
6 10 Seconds

7 15 Seconds

CS 30 Seconds
CS2 20 Seconds
CS3 20 Seconds
CS4 35 Seconds

by dmangstar September 24, 2009

Trivia Programmer

These programmers don't know actually how to write code from scratch or engineer anything; They watch youtube videos online on leetcode and the dry principle 100 times over. They can be intern vloggers, or some layed off PR intern from a big corporation. They commit to open source projects (documentation) and have a soft filter background pfp (With a bland tshirt, short hair or extremely long hair, it's binary; And talk in a very monotone soft voice). Their daily routine consists of waking up, reviewing all the trivia for their language, going into work and not being able to debug anything. However they can talk up a storm, just not actually be the engineers they're required to be. They job hop to the next job before anyone can figure out they actually don't know what they're doing. In meetings they will spit out all the trivia they know, keeping up the act long enough so the manager doesn't notice anything.

Person A: "You remember Jerry? On lunch yesterday he was talking about how he made project x and y in this framework, and how our systems can be completely re-written and improved within a month on this new cool framework he couldn't stop talking about"

Person B: "Oh yea I remember him, he seemed knowledgeable, he passed our medium and hard questions easily."

Person A: "Yea, haha thought the same thing. Turns out he just sat around doing leetcode all day, but I don't know if he even knows what a breakpoint is"

Person B: "His github was really nice!"

Person A: "Well he couldn't debug anything, I ended up doing all the work for him. I think he was just a Trivia Programmer"

Person B: "Really?"

Person A: "Yea he kept asking the same questions, didn't write anything down, never saw any improvements even though I was helping him. I think he just new a lot of trivia, but he can't code"

Person B: "Oh a Trivia Programmer"

Person A: "Yea, last I checked he's making lofi hiphop soft filter videos online about the dry principle. I don't think he applied it in any of his work"

Person B: "His latest video is 'Former Senior Startup Executive Developer Advice' and 'Doing Leetcode As An Intern'"

by cynical idiot May 25, 2023

visual basic programmer

someone who *thinks* they know how to program, but in reality is pretty average... almost always don't really understand the inner workings of a computer... they get scared by things like call stacks, registers, pointers, assembly, or anything that has to do with the guts of a computers...

also, they are generally not smart enough to do embedded development...

embedded developer: i just hacked the can bus in my car... used a philips tja1050 transceiver, paired it up to a mcf5485 coldfire, developed the logger and gauge renderer in C (gasp!) using codewarrior and spat the image data out to the tft in my car to have virtual gauges on everything!

what have you developed lately?

visual basic programmer: an ftp server...

embedded developer: oh... cool...

by champski April 3, 2009

Programmer's Interface

Often used to describe the way a programmer's face looks after little or no sleep over a prolonged period of time.

Can also be used to descibe a programmer's face after spending more than 5 days inside, in front of a computer.

Programmer's Interface usually includes:

- Dark circles around the eyes
- Bloodshot eyes
- Pale skin
- Stubble (if male)

Programmer 1: Hey man, you look rough today.

Programmer 2: Yeah, I've got some serious Programmer's Interface going on today.

Programmer 1: Been up for a few days programming again?

Programmer 2: Yeah. Pretty much.

by Jabdennel July 30, 2011

java programmer

The most insulting thing you could possibly say to a Finnish programmer.

(a)Did you write this pile of junk?
(b)Yes
(a)You fucking java programmer!
(b)*sulk*

by not_mm January 11, 2005