Any person of any gender who STEALS toilet paper from ANY marketing location
"That Ass Bandit stole the last package of Charmin!"
"Officer the Ass Bandit broke in through the kitchen window and went straight for our toilet paper supply, so I took the metal bat to him. I feared for our safety, and Toilet paper!"
An unscrupulous curmudgeon who blasphemes by the very nature of his or her existence. Simply put, an unambiguous wanker, a incorrigible troglodyte, a downtrodden asshat.
Eric if you say POOT one more time I will puke. How ass-bandit-ish.
Peter is such an ass-bandit about seeing live shows.
Noah's ass-banditry is unprecedented. Stop touching yourself.
Denver has always been an ass-bandit and will always be an ass-bandit.