absent-minded professor

The very intelligent are sometimes preoccupied with weighty matters (as they suppose) insomuch that they forget about more prosaic matters -- such as remembering keys, wallet, phone, appointments, etc.

The teacher showed up in class, on time -- but forgot it was Tuesday, not Wednesday -- and was halfway through the lecture before the absent-minded professor realized he was teaching the wrong subject matter. On the plus side, I understand Einstein's Theory of Relativity a lot better than I did. I hope it shows up on our Physical Science 101 exams...

by 1ightsaber June 7, 2021

The Absentia Lardum Effect

The overwhelming sensation to consume bacon when the body witnesses something so utterly bland, tasteless, or otherwise unappealing.

I was walking past a vegan restaurant one day when I was suddenly overcome by the Absentia Lardum Effect. I immediately proceeded to the nearest fast food chain for a double bacon cheeseburger.

by Verosumatic October 5, 2016

Absentee Fan

An absentee fan is someone who claims to be a huge fan of a sport and/or a team. This person will own a ton of apparel for said sport/team, and watch sportscenter for highlights of that sport/team often. However, this person will never, ever watch actual games of said sport/team, and they will never be emotionally affected by the outcome of that sport/team.

One person may be an absentee fan of multiple sports and multiple teams.

John: Hey Steve, we are all going to watch the Yankees ALDS game at Rick's house tonight, do you want to come?

Steve: Sorry man, I wanted to catch up on some cleaning tonight. Maybe next time. I'll just watch the highlights on sportscenter. I hope the Yankees win though.

Rick (after Steve leaves): Don't worry John, Steve is just an absentee fan.

by Yanksrule56 June 4, 2010

absentini

An absence attributed to excess martini consumption.

Patty: Sorry to have blown you off at spin class this morning. Meltem was in town last night, and we stayed out waaaaay too late.

Judy: That will be recorded as a fully-excused absentini.

by Judy Gresham August 14, 2010

Absent

Incorrect spelling/reference to "absinthe," a distilled, highly-alcoholic beverage.

Idiot: I went on Urban Dictionary to define this crazy drink I had last night called "absent."

Idiot's friend: Dude, you mean "absinthe."

Idiot: I do?

by SpellingPoliceEU March 3, 2009

Absent

1. My will to live

2. James Charles’ career

3. Hoe Hoe Siwa’s hairline
4. Danielle Cohn’s clothes
5. Dora’s fucking eyes; bitch don’t ask me if I see your map turn your sorry ass around and look for it yourself

I searched YouTube for a good Jacob Sagittarius music video but I just saw an absent screen

I stared absently at this bitch Karen who said that she doesn’t like The Office. Ya dumb whore.

by UrAFakeSnake July 15, 2019

Absent Factor

The single factor not taken into account in any situation, which usually leads to catastrophe.

The fact that Joe didn't clean the beaker properly was the absent factor in the experiment that lead to the explosion in the lab.

by jon132 March 1, 2009