Nonce Varnish

A combination of boiling water and sugar that burns and sticks, when thrown, to the skin of a pedophile in prison, making their skin glossy and solid once cooled.

Convict #1: "I heard that cunt's a pedo."

Convict #2: "Don't worry, I'm going to give him a coat of nonce varnish the minute he's out of PC."

by Oscar X-ray January 30, 2025

Varnishing the door

When you fuck a chick then cum all over labia majora then spread it all over it, let it dry producing a high gloss finish. This can be done after “staining the door “ or with no staining at all... leaving a natural color

My girl and I are planning on varnishing the door this evening.

by Richard Dangles January 24, 2020

varnished

alcohol intoxicated, drunk

I'll bet she got varnished after work and passed out on the bench.

by The Return of Light Joker November 27, 2010

Varnish your venison

The act of playing with your wee wee.

You don't want to date this girl, you just want her to varnish your venison for five minutes.

by Greasyknowledge March 7, 2024

man varnish

Seminal fluids that often appears and says hello when a mans shlong is rubed or inserted in to somthing contracting.

please my brother dont rub your man varnish on my dingle berry

by i love hair down there October 20, 2008

Varnished

The state of being so thoroughly drunk and stoned that you are completely and utterly fucked up. 100% blasted, plastered and loaded with a good, big, powerful toke of stoke. Or grass or weed or whatever...

I'm fucking varnished to the max, fucker!!!

by Alexander, irish bastard September 23, 2015

Varnished asshole

Used to describe a terrible smelling object

<Guy1> Wow those shoes smell terrible
<Guy2> Yeah they smell like Varnished Assholes

by Asspipe April 7, 2009