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Damn it, I’lol be late for school because of this stupid traffic!
traffic by 147852369/*-+.0 September 18, 2025

Traffic Calming Measure 

This is something that happens in supermarkets; a two-seater with a trolley is wandering slowly and aimlessly down the aisles with a queue of other customers behind them. They seem apathetic and prepared to tolerate the slow progress, none of them apparently capable of saying “Excuse me” or “Can I just get by” or even “Get out of the way you fat, useless lump of shit!”
See also red rover, Traffic Jam, Road Block.
I went to the supermarket to pick up some food but didn’t bother, the place was full of traffic calming measures.

Traffic Jam 

This is sometimes found in supermarkets where someone, usually female, with an arse so enormous it makes the average two-seater look small, shoving a trolley piled high with junk food, suddenly stops. This may be because she’s suddenly gone AWTF or it could be because she’s trying to decide whether to have ten or twelve krispy kremes to help her recover from all this strenuous shopping. She blocks the aisle, traffic builds up behind and in front of her, the fat cow is deaf to polite requests to move or even, “Get out of the way you fucking mammoth!” The result is gridlock and it usually takes half an hour and several members of staff to get things sorted out. See also Road Block.
“I was shopping in ASDA and got caught in a traffic jam.”
What did you do?”
“Dumped the trolley and went to TESCO.”
Traffic Jam by AKACroatalin August 15, 2016

Traffic Touching 

A game in which you drive up next to another in traffic and touch the side of their car while still driving ahead.
"Oh dude, we'll totally do some traffic touching after work."
Traffic Touching by ImNotNobody February 8, 2015

Traffic Looting 

The act of purposefully ignoring rules of the road to retain some semblance of power in a usually powerless life in the same sense as looting stores during a riot; e.g. running red lights, ignoring yield signs and general courtesy because of a sense of self-entitlement.
"That person didn't care that he ran that red light. That's some straight up Traffic Looting; trying to get what's his."
Traffic Looting by cesareo gracias February 19, 2013

Traffic Tourettes

Uncontrollable bursts of profanity (like tourette syndrome) experience while stuck in traffic.
*talking on phone* "So yeah, then Kim turned around and MOTHER F&%@ER WHERE DID YOU F!^@ING LEARN TO DRIVE YOU PIECE OF $#!&! ... Anyway, so Kim says to me"

"Dang bro, sounds like you have some nasty traffic tourettes."
Traffic Tourettes by b3rk February 9, 2009