Total Dickhead Event: a public drunken stupor so embarrassing, humiliating, and utterly mortifying as to convince the most hardend boozer to giving up the drink.
by Superchuck September 6, 2018
Get the Total Dickhead Event mug.The most horrifying form of torture/punishment in the known Universe. The Total Perspective Vortex (it's so mind bogglingly terrifying it even gets Capital Letters) is a small, featureless steel box, barely big enough for one man to stand in.
The hopeless victims stand in the Vortex, and are suddenly shown, for the merest instant, the whole of the Universe: the whole infinity of creation, spanning over several trillion light years, and countless millennia, with an insignificant dot saying "You Are Here".
The victims, totally demoralised by their experience, fall dead from the vortex, wherupon they become the burden of the Vortex' custodian, Pizpot Gargravarr.
To date, Zaphod Beeeblebrox (former President of the Galaxy, and "The best bang since the Big one") is the only man to have survived the vortex, solely because he is a hoopy frood and the Vortex told him as much.
The hopeless victims stand in the Vortex, and are suddenly shown, for the merest instant, the whole of the Universe: the whole infinity of creation, spanning over several trillion light years, and countless millennia, with an insignificant dot saying "You Are Here".
The victims, totally demoralised by their experience, fall dead from the vortex, wherupon they become the burden of the Vortex' custodian, Pizpot Gargravarr.
To date, Zaphod Beeeblebrox (former President of the Galaxy, and "The best bang since the Big one") is the only man to have survived the vortex, solely because he is a hoopy frood and the Vortex told him as much.
The total perspective vortex derives its picture of the whole Universe on the principle of extrapolated matter analyses.
To explain - since every piece of matter in the Universe is in some way affected by every other piece of matter in the Universe, it is in theory possible to extrapolate the whole of creation - every sun, every planet, their orbits, their composition and their economic and social history from, say, one small piece of fairy cake.
The man who invented the Total Perspective Vortex did so basically to annoy his wife.
Trin Tragula - for that was his name - was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.
And she would nag him incessantly about the utterly inordinate amount of time he spent staring out into space, or mulling over the mechanics of safety pins, or doing spectrographic amalyses of pieces of fairy cake.
"Have some sense of proportion!" she would say, sometimes as often as thirty-eight times in a single day.
And so he built the Total Perspective Vortex - just to show her.
And into one end he plugged the whole of reality as extrapolated from a single piece of fairy cake, and into the other end he plugged his wife: so that when he turned it on she saw in one instant the whole infinity of creation and herself in relation to it.
To Trin Tragula's horror, the shock completely annihilated her brain; but to his satisfaction he realised that he had proved conclusively that if life is going to exist in a Universe of this siz, then the one thing it cannot afford to have is a sense of proportion.
To explain - since every piece of matter in the Universe is in some way affected by every other piece of matter in the Universe, it is in theory possible to extrapolate the whole of creation - every sun, every planet, their orbits, their composition and their economic and social history from, say, one small piece of fairy cake.
The man who invented the Total Perspective Vortex did so basically to annoy his wife.
Trin Tragula - for that was his name - was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.
And she would nag him incessantly about the utterly inordinate amount of time he spent staring out into space, or mulling over the mechanics of safety pins, or doing spectrographic amalyses of pieces of fairy cake.
"Have some sense of proportion!" she would say, sometimes as often as thirty-eight times in a single day.
And so he built the Total Perspective Vortex - just to show her.
And into one end he plugged the whole of reality as extrapolated from a single piece of fairy cake, and into the other end he plugged his wife: so that when he turned it on she saw in one instant the whole infinity of creation and herself in relation to it.
To Trin Tragula's horror, the shock completely annihilated her brain; but to his satisfaction he realised that he had proved conclusively that if life is going to exist in a Universe of this siz, then the one thing it cannot afford to have is a sense of proportion.
by Svlad Cjelli December 17, 2004
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Get the totalgamerzone mug.Me: I simp for Byakuya Togami
Friend: Oh you mean the rich, handsome, cute guy from Danganronpa?
Me: Yes!
Friend: Oh you mean the rich, handsome, cute guy from Danganronpa?
Me: Yes!
by ultimatebyakuyasimp January 28, 2021
Get the Byakuya Togami mug.Misspelled version of the word "totalitarianism" that was spoken by President Donald Trump at his Independence Day event at Mount Rushmore on July 3rd, 2020.
by The Poopshitters July 3, 2020
Get the totalitariatism mug.A measurement used to distinguish between items of work that are all deemed by the customer to be the highest priority.
When everything is priority 1, you can calculate the total priority by asking what order those tasks should be done in. The total priority is a representation of this order, for instance 1a, 1b, 1c.
If you find you end up with multiple items with the same total priority, simple repeat the process and append another letter e.g. 1aa, 1ab, 1ac until they get the message.
When everything is priority 1, you can calculate the total priority by asking what order those tasks should be done in. The total priority is a representation of this order, for instance 1a, 1b, 1c.
If you find you end up with multiple items with the same total priority, simple repeat the process and append another letter e.g. 1aa, 1ab, 1ac until they get the message.
"Taking into consideration the total priority of those 20 high priority tasks, I think I'll be able to do 3 of them by next week"
by lovetoseeit February 14, 2021
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