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tropical seltzer

When you’ve eaten a shit ton of pineapple and jizz streams of yoghurt all over that dumb sluts face that you picked up from the bar at closing time. Helps if you have the pina colada song playing when you bust yo nut... “if you like pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain”....
Yo Jimmy, I ended up going home with that Lucy chick from the bar last night, gave her a tropical seltzer! She stormed out before her Uber had even arrived...
by Big Poppa nutsack December 28, 2020
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Tropical Seltzer

When you smash back a shit ton of pineapple just to blow your load all over some dumb sluts face
Shit man I picked up the dumbest slut at the bar last night, but it’s all good because I’d eaten copious amounts of pineapple earlier so I gave her a tropical seltzer then sent her on her way back to the pigsty she crawled out of
by Big Poppa nutsack December 30, 2020
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Tennessee Alka-Seltzer

A Tennessee Alka-Seltzer is when you stick an alka-seltzer into your mouth, then have oral sex with a Southern girl(with out telling her, but of course). As her vagina gets wet, you slip in the alka-seltzer, stand back, and watch the 'fire works'...or, in this case, 'foam works'.

The 'Tennesse' part is derived from college kids out of D.C. going into Virginia on a Saturday night, and performing it on innocent country 'gurls'. Why did I not choose 'Virginia' to make it a 'Virginia Alka-Seltzer'? Because Tennessee sounds better. And if you don't like it, piss off!
Dude 1: Dude, I did a Tennessee Alka-Seltzer on a GRITS yesterday!
Dude 2: Shite! What happened? Was it fun?
Dude 1: Well...let's just say she'll never walk again.
by Ben Erman July 4, 2007
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hard seltzer

is code for "you will vomit", usually by 4am
Oh my god, I knew she would "hard seltzer" after that many vodka sodas in a can...
by chadastrophic March 28, 2019
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Alka-Seltzer

The act of taking a duece while in a hot tub. Since the hot tub is already churning water, bubbles, and blowing hot water, the turd will quickly dissolve like an alka-seltzer, leaving a nice fecal coloring to the water.
I was in Laura's hot tub last night, listening to Aaron Neville, and sippin' on a chilled glass of white zinfandale, when I decided to leave an alka-seltzer.
by Miami Matt September 3, 2006
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Scottsdale Seltzer

When you crush up Oxycodone and sprinkle the bits into a high quality grape juice.
My doctor likes to give me a refreshing Scottsdale Seltzer before giving blood in order to calm my nerves.
by Aniraf March 25, 2021
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Burnley alka seltzer

When one is feeling particularly under the weather, hungover, tired etc the perfect solution is the Burnley alka seltzer.

This is when an individual masterbates, has an orgasm and then continues to masterbate until they have a second orgasm.

For the uninitiated or out of practice a soak period of up to 7 minutes is allowed between the first orgasm and the start of the second session of self love for it to qualify as a Burnley alka seltzer and to feel the benefits.
With more practice and to feel greater benefits, this soak period should reduce until a seasoned professional of the 5 fingered shuffle should leave no gap between the first and second fights with the purple headed yoghurt slinger.
Friend "Mate I'm hungover as fuck right now."
You "sounds like you need a quick Burnley alka seltzer to get yourself back in the game mate"

You "doctor I've been feeling under the weather for a while now and I just can't shift it, I've tried paracetamol and ibuprofen, I've had a day off work, I've even thought about doing some of that homeopathic shit"
Doctor "right I'm prescribing you a burnley alka seltzer, go straight home, take it and I think you'll feel much better straight away"
by Lex Kidderminster October 15, 2023
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