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near sex experience

When a virgin got his/her partner's pants off but you couldn't make it to the sex because of some unfortunate event like erectile disfunction or the girls menstrual cycle or some emergency at work or home.
Alan have you even had sex? Alan: No but i've had a near sex experience.
by AJ18 May 14, 2014
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near beer

Near beer is the worst of both worlds: all the shitty taste of beer, and none of the fun!
by The Grammar Nazi January 3, 2002
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Near Porn

Any non-pornographic picture of a hot chick.
I couldn't find my hustler, so i looked at some near porn.
by Mellon777 January 22, 2009
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near beer

Non alcoholic beer that contains .5% or less alcohol and is aimed at those 18 and up or those wanting to watch their calories and/or alcoholic intake. Usually has the alchohol boiled out and is usually less flavorful and calorie rich than their alcoholic equivalents. Essentially Beer that you can't get intoxicated from. Usually labeled NA (Non Alcoholic)

O'Doul's and Sharps could be considered a "near beer".
Person 1: Hey pass me a beer

Person 2: Here is an O'Doul's.

Person 1: Don't give me that near beer crap. Got a real beer?
by Daschni May 4, 2010
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Near Snuffkin Experience

When one performs the act of Blumpkin, nearly dies, has to be resuscitated and survives, living to tell the tale.
Granddad: Hey did I ever tell you kids about my Near Snuffkin Experience?

Grandchild: No, please do go on.
by The Juggernaught November 1, 2009
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Near COVID experience

When you escape infection, because you missed a meeting with a person, that turned out to be infected.
"Hey babe, remember when you wanted to come over, but decided stay home?"
"Yeah, your roommate tested positive next day."
"That's what I call a near COVID experience."
by TheInfectious February 6, 2022
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Near-Crotch Experience

The instance where your face comes dangerously close to contact with a person's junk. It may be clothed, or unclothed, but either way, it is still potentially scarring.
Guy 1: "Dude, did I tell you about my near-crotch experience?"

Guy 2: "No!"
Guy 1: "It was pretty legit."

Girl 1: "Oh my god, I just had a near-crotch experience."

Girl 2: "OH MU GOD. With who?"

Girls 1: "That guy from my class."

Girl 2: "Oh, that's okay then. He's a BAMF."
by HulgaviHomeland November 8, 2011
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