Jerking off with both hands

An expression for over-doing something, doing more work than is necessary to complete a task, or the general idea of using an ass-backwards method to achieve a relatively simple goal.

Yeah, well he's always jerking off with both hands.

by maxflight June 19, 2010

Jerking off Snailfish

Sitting/standing around doing nothing, bored out of your mind and looking for something to do,

- did you go out to the bar last night?

-no!!!, i sat around jerking off snailfish all night!, you bob or ken didnt call me!

by Bam 9 October 18, 2010

jerking off with sandpaper

something that may look like a good idea at first glance, but turns out to be a horrible one

1) "I thought that chick was gonna be fun, but then I hung out with her and I realized I got tricked into jerking off with sanpdper."

2) "Joe is such a douche... I swear he always calls me to play football and everytime it's your basic jerking off with sandpaper!"

by Mel Berg January 18, 2009

Jerking Off Steam

When a man masturbates to deal with stress.

1. Before his interview, Tim jerked off some steam so he wouldn't be nervous.
2. Tim is jerking off steam before his hot date tonight.
3. I have four papers due tomorrow! I really need to jerk off some steam right now.

by F_TRES November 19, 2009

Jerking off Stalefish

The act of jerking off to your own ass while looking at it in a mirror.

"What the fuck dude you've been in the toliet for 2 hours now"

"Be patient man i'm jerking off stalefish"

by CollaBear June 12, 2012

jerking off stalefish

The act of masterbation with your coming from behind and going under your leg like the snowboarding move.

I needed a little change in my love life so i put my hand under my leg and started jerking off stalefish.

by Jim-Bo May 31, 2007

Jerking off stalefish

our definition is whackin off with no visual aids, just what u think of

i was battin off stalefish cos mum stole my pornos

by nathan May 13, 2005