hankering for a pankering 

To desire sex or similar relations; postulation for copulation. See also: hanky panky.

If you're hankering for a pankering, clap your hands, if you're hankering for a pankering and you really won't settle for wankering, clap your hands.

hankering for a pankering by Bloopy February 10, 2006

hacking the lettuce 

euphemism for masturbation

studies show that hacking the lettuce 5 times a week reduces prostate cancer rates. That, and its fun too.

hacking the lettuce by McInnes May 15, 2005

Asshole Hacking 

When you shove a keyboard up your asshole and start hacking the computer

Hey man I’m asshole hacking your computer right now

Asshole Hacking by ChickenBiscuits0 April 4, 2019

MJ Hatering 

A person who hates you for rumors and untrue statements and refuses to find out or except the REAL truth.

Guy 1:So she hates you because she heard you slapped her best friend?

Guy 2:Yeah! and Every time I try to tell her she ignores me and disses me!

Guy 1:man,She jus' MJ Hatering

MJ Hatering by Genious Youthly April 15, 2011

hacking off 

busting a nut, beating off, pounding off, jerking off, jacking off, beating your meat, spanking the monkey, choking the chicken, rabbit in and out of the hole, driving over the bridge, firing off some white stuff, meatbag'in it, angering god, going blind, spraying the fire hose, milking the weasel, pleasuring yourself manually, touching yourself, taking a trip to England, forst'in the wheaties, abortion alternative, masturbation.

Dude, I was hacking off the other night and my mom walked in. So awk!!!

hacking off by coolcatgiantsfan August 14, 2010

hankering 

craving something bad!

I have a hankering for some Hagus right now.

hankering by Alex T. Grossi October 6, 2003

Hankerin' 

Strong desire or want. Best used in the deep south, but other places are acceptable if used with proper accent.

I've been hankerin' for a warm slice of cherry pie all day.

Hankerin' by lbsrfr July 21, 2009