A “ Granola” can be described as a
Vegan, Organic, Non-GMO, BPA-Free, Grass Fed,
Grass Finished, Dairy Free, Nut Free, Soy Free, Lemon Wedge Deodorant wearing overly environmentally friendly non-hippy-but-also-a-hippy-at-the-same time stereotype (Think hippy minus the drugs and the tie dye.) Granolas often smell like curry and likely live in an off-the-grid tiny house in the middle of some field they probably
don’t actually own. In said tiny houses in an effort to save the climate, they likely redirect their “all natural
toilet waste” from their glorified port-a-potty into their veggie compost to later use as “natural” fertilizer. Granolas often dress in an outdoorsy fashion that also resembles that of a well dressed
hobo. It is not uncommon to identify a Granola wearing Birkenstocks, Athletic Shorts, Camel Back backpacks, North Face Jackets, and more regardless of whether or not they take frequent hikes. Granolas
may also be seen driving a Subaru Outback with several decals on the back windshield that often refer to climate
change and world
peace.
