Every available hot girl is guarded by an overweight, unattractive female friend who controls access. Direct a question to one, expect it to be answered by both. Invite her to a meal, book a table for three. It's a package deal - for now - just figure how to get this friend away, even for a little time, and the prize is yours...it seems. She seems sweet, romantic and ready, but her friend dampens any occasion to an ordinary, social, non-romantic outing for three.
Her friend is a bland, bloated "hanger on" fruit who feigns sweetness, but is tartly near toxic to your potential relationship. Allegorically similar to the botanical, yucky, sticky, fat fruit "gooseberry" that spoils a tasty harvest.
Best advice - plan a blind date, but bring your challenged, overweight, horny, Neanderthal cousin to "sort out" her "gooseberry" mate for a few minutes alone.
Her friend is a bland, bloated "hanger on" fruit who feigns sweetness, but is tartly near toxic to your potential relationship. Allegorically similar to the botanical, yucky, sticky, fat fruit "gooseberry" that spoils a tasty harvest.
Best advice - plan a blind date, but bring your challenged, overweight, horny, Neanderthal cousin to "sort out" her "gooseberry" mate for a few minutes alone.
Hot Girl: "I've been invited on a date but don't want to go alone in case I get turned on and have sex with him"
Obese, Unattractive Friend: "I'll come too. That way he'll have to feed and entertain both of us, but never get you alone to molest. Makes me a GOOSEBERRY spoiling his intentions, pirating your intimacy, but you're just leading him on, suckering up his resources anyway."
Hot Girl: "Yes, this is correct. Rather than tell him outright there is no sexual advantage to his gifts, he will realise my tag along GOOSEBERRY friend, who he has substantially dined, has reduced his amour anyway and confronted the relationship. Thank you, my ugly, gluttonous, protective companion always ready to spoil a young man's advance on me."
Obese, Unattractive Friend: "Always of service, my Sister, to frustrate male desire and your social advancement in such"
Obese, Unattractive Friend: "I'll come too. That way he'll have to feed and entertain both of us, but never get you alone to molest. Makes me a GOOSEBERRY spoiling his intentions, pirating your intimacy, but you're just leading him on, suckering up his resources anyway."
Hot Girl: "Yes, this is correct. Rather than tell him outright there is no sexual advantage to his gifts, he will realise my tag along GOOSEBERRY friend, who he has substantially dined, has reduced his amour anyway and confronted the relationship. Thank you, my ugly, gluttonous, protective companion always ready to spoil a young man's advance on me."
Obese, Unattractive Friend: "Always of service, my Sister, to frustrate male desire and your social advancement in such"
by Gabbro December 20, 2018
Get the Gooseberry mug.A sexual act upon which a man shits, places a bit on his finger and rubs it on a woman's clitoris, whilst she screams.
by bigazzamax December 19, 2011
Get the chinese gooseberry mug.Related Words
Goonsberry
• Goonberry
• Goosberry
• gooseberry
• Goldsberry
• gooberry
• Goochberry
• Goofberry
• Gookberry
• GoolBerry
A Canadian person age 14-21 that owns a Canada Goose branded jacket and owns a Blackberry. Usually these people have parents that are very rich and wealthy. Both of these items to these people are not necessary. They might as well buy a cheaper phone or a wayyyy cheaper jacket.
by Mr Big Sanchez March 18, 2011
Get the Gooseberry mug.1. A living legend.
2. The best in voice, acting, personality, beauty, smile.
3. Just... The love of my life.
2. The best in voice, acting, personality, beauty, smile.
3. Just... The love of my life.
by angelica groff January 3, 2021
Get the Renee Elise Goldsberry mug.by Ms Jellycakes April 7, 2011
Get the Gooseberry Bush mug.Fruit snacks of any variety
Friend: Tha Fuck you got ta eat in this bitch nigga?!
Friend: I got some chips & a box of Goonberries
Friend: I got some chips & a box of Goonberries
by Majin Kakkarot January 25, 2008
Get the Goonberries mug.An absolute goon of a berry. Goon in the sense that like the joker sets his goons on batman. Kind of like that
That's a nice Goonberry
by goonbberyy September 11, 2023
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